Sunday, October 26, 2008

Is It Okay?

Is it okay to, I just don't know what to do? I feel so lost in so many areas of my life. Feeling like I'm going to let this person or that person down; even though it's for the best. I'm not really good with my back up against a wall, but I have a suspicion my God is trying to get to me, and I'm not listening. I may be, "listening," but a great deal of listening, is doing.

I am alive, but dead.
I am trying, but not hard enough.
I am seeking, though I am wandering.
I am beaten, only by myself.
I am treasonous, not intentionally.
I am wrong, but I know what is right.
I am not Jesus, though I want to be.
I am a sinner, I am sick of it.
I long for peace, but my actions say different.
I long for love, but I am nothing but selfish.

I would prefer more at this point it all be taken away, if it meant I would know God more. I would rather it all be gone, if I knew I could be with my God. I would give up this world in an instance because I know just how strange I am to it. These are dangerous things to say, but if I go to sleep tonight and never wake up, I can't tell you with truth that my God would know me. Often times, I go to bed wondering or thinking, I will change, and I will can do this. Rarely I sit and ask the spirit to change me, rather I spend most of it confessing.

This is where I suppose it would all be left. I cannot stand another minute of being another cookie cutter christian that HOPES he can make a change not only to the world, but first within himself. My heart won't beat forever, and mark my words, until it stops, I will make every effort to see to it that my identity is firmly rooted in Christ, and that I would never be ashamed of saying it or sharing it.
I am tired of this cheap grace mentality, this
compartmentalized living, and this audacious
transgressive lifestyle; Art Matheny best
described it as, "flipping God off."
Imagine, every time you sin, you stand before
your saviour looking him right in the eyes, and
you shout, "fuck you!"

That's what I/we/you are doing, every time!
No more. No more!
I am not what you would call a "turn or burn" ideological person, but it's very very real. And more so, our God desires our hearts; he desires the hearts of those around us that we know are so lost. Our co-workers, friends, family,strangers, etc... they need Christ just as bad as you and I do. My prayer right now is not only one of a change of heart within my heart and your convictions within this, but a prayer of a broken relationship with the Western Culture apathetic church mindset.

Micah Boyce. Centuries of Knowledge Mistake for Omniscience.

We are small
But we tower
Built up for years
With bricks of wisdom and comprehension
Look at how well
We've done for ourselves

We are frail
But we're solid
Down to the bone
But I don't feel him in my bones

Oh no, these arms are reaching
Maybe their too stiff
Maybe their too thin
Oh no, these arms are reaching

Beneath Our Noble Heads
We contain the hearts of children
If only we could lose our head
And let the youth become our necks
'Cus it's a boldfaced lie
Ya we're all gonna die
'Cus we're just passing through time
No we don't have to die

I have dressed my head, with a solid crown
Steadfast like the rest
I was a tower in the city of God
I had a strong sense of what that meant
But I was still drenched
With liquor and lust
I found I was just afraid of death
So if my words are few
I smell of the devil
And according to the rules
I'm a damned fool
And I'll probably catch flack for saying so too

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Ultimate Justification.

I've struggled with many things over the years, just like
anyone I would assume has struggles. As a christian I
believe we are almost subconsciously taught to depress or
ignore the temptation and it will go away. I'm not saying
everyone has this approach, but I agree with Mark Driscoll
when he says "there is a propensity in many churches to
take sexuality out of the hands of theologians and place
it in the hands of secular counselors."

I'm not so sure it stops there, with just sexuality. I
also agree as he goes on to say that there is an
"effeminate nature" and "a timidity among weak pastors
to wade into controversial issues in general." Now my goal
here is not to scowl upon our leaders; I for one just
believe we need to step it up. Especially with the
state of our world; where debauchery, apathy, and self
indulgence has become the status quo, even among
christians! I should know, I'm not a great deal different.

And there's a "but." The but being, I don't like it, I
want to change, and I'm implementing change. My desire
within my change is to empower, teach, and help change
others with that same desire. And one major tool we use
is justification, and this, I think sums up the proverbial

Romans 1:18-24

18 For kthe wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 19 For what can be mknown about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20 For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves,

Sunday, October 19, 2008

This Was An Amazing Find.

If I had just ONE dream come true, it would be one within
many. ONE being that I wrote a song equal to Bohemian
Rhapsody, which in my opinion is the best song ever
written by any group in all the history of music.

So of course, being a huge QUEEN fan, this is wonderful.
I have "The Making of A Night At The Opera" but this offers
a greater depth. It's quite lengthy, but it's totally worth
your time.

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 1

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 2

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 3

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 4

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 5

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 6

Sunday, October 12, 2008


- Moleskine Weekly Notebook
- A big work desk
- Monitor Stands
- 22" Acer LCD Monitor
- Apple MacPro
- Apple MacBook Pro
- Apple Iphone

- Culture Making: Recovering Our Creative Calling
- IdeaSpotting: How to Find Your Next Great Idea
- Sound Systems: Design and Optimization: Modern Techniques
and Tools for Sound System Design and Alignment

- The Dream Giver

In other news:
I've been pondering a lot of things recently, one of
them being my future and making certain decisions.
I find a great passion of mine is to bring media to the
church in a quality way, done with excellence, all forms
of media; it's just a HUGE passion of mine.
So one of the many contemplated areas has been to
go further what I already know of production, I'm pretty
decent with the knowledge and resources I have right
now but I really want to take it a step further.
So, we shall see what comes in the coming weeks but
my best guess will be a school will be calling my name
and I may just head that way.

As for Sons, we are on a brief hiatus with our future
really being undetermined at the present moment, but
I still would love to do a record and see where this
could go. So, I'll be praying diligently about those things.

Lastly, I found this to be interesting.
The 100 Largest Churches in the U.S.

P.S. Please don't vote based on your biased beliefs.
Rather, how about on what this country really needs.
Do that.