Tuesday, April 28, 2009


As I immerse myself in this season of unknowing, faith
growing work Holy Spirit is doing in my life, I ask
myself the question, "how bad do you want this?" How bad
do you want people to know his name, his love, his grace,
his beauty, his mercy, his greatness. Lord it is your
Renown, and that is truly what I desire to exist in my
life and the others that I come into contact with.
A huge blessing in my life right now is a book by John
Piper entitled, "Don't Waste Your Life." How fitting for
a man who has felt the majority of his life was a selfish
charade of one false hope after another.

As I read this Piper heart, Chad's heart via blog, I am
again reminded that if it is the desire of my heart for
a breakthrough with Christ in my life it is imperative
that I seek him with all that I have. As I wake early in
the morning now, I wake to seek my savior, the lover of
my soul. As I go to sleep early it is to remind me that I
am disciplined to the work of his kingdom, which first
requires a great work in a broken man's heart like my own.
A season of "confinement and refinement" that I share with
Come and Live! is upon us, and acts as a reminder of how
we must rely on God for everything.

Teach our hearts to boast in the cross (2 Corinthians 12)
and to practice self-forgetfulness my Father! And as Matt
Chandler says, "Can we maybe run some of the plays, instead
of just studying them?" I have to ask myself this daily, is
it my joy, do I rejoice in the cross of Christ? And if I do,
I want to show people the all-satisfying God.
Though I am weak, "He has said to me, 'My Grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about
my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Monday, April 20, 2009

Love Vs. Lust

I enjoyed this so much I couldn't help but post it.
It has occurred to me how little I knew about love, or rather,
how miserably I fail at showing love to others. Many of those
things I learned most recently after losing someone extremely
special to me. When I came to grips that it was my doing, my
lack of motivation, my apathy, my selfishness, the list goes on,
it was a turning point for me. That horrible experience, not
the relationship, I'm talking post relationship realization, taught
me some of the most important lessons I've ever learned.
There was so much good in it all, coupled with an equal
amount of bad, mostly that I feel responsible for but either way
I am a better man for today. I am thankful to God for putting
us through the difficult times, I may have never learned otherwise;
and she may never have had a chance to be cared for and loved
like she deserves.

My prayer is the we would learn to love as christ loved others. In
our friendships, relationships, and towards even the strangest
of strangers. Let us learn to sacrifice, let us learn to serve, let us
learn to truly love. The beauty of it all, is I feel that none of it was
ever in vein; she is happy, and I am happy that she is happy. Though
I'm missing out, I am content knowing that she is not. It was a
difficult lump to swallow initially, but now I know what it means
to truly love someone. To love someone is to do what's in their best
interest, no matter what it means for you or for them. This clip
has a great perspective on how I believe the world perceives love,
and what love really is.

It's been a while since I've posted and this seemed fitting based
upon how God has been working in my life as of late. Let's go
out and love, selflessly.
Go be His hands and His feet.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty.

Tonight was one of the most substantially exuberant nights I've ever
experienced in all my life. This was something beyond fellowship that
I can ever recall having, and it happened in a suburban home outside
of Tulsa, OK with a family who I would consider my own. A mother, a
grandmother and 3 young men encountered the holy
spirit together like never before. For the women, this was nothing
out of the usual, for the young men though I must say an edifying
experience was at hand. We sat around the dinner table talking
about tongues, gifts of the spirit, and a vast selection of other
biblical referenced experiences. For an hour the holy spirit was
working on me, all the while evil whispering in my ear sewing seeds
of doubt, mistrust, and discouragement.

After an hour of listening and very little interaction myself, I
couldn't hold in much longer the pendulum like experience my soul
was encountering. It was as if, I was running after God but an
arm was reached out holding me back disallowing me to reach my
Savior. I expressed my feelings outwardly, and began to tell of the
things on my heart, that God has placed on my heart and that Satan
has tried eagerly to tear away at the validity of. After a few
minutes passed, Mrs. Thomas insisted that we pray and I could feel
the Holy Spirit swarming us as we prepared. The intention was to
release the power of the Holy Spirit from within us, to actually
receive the spirit like none of us 3 had ever before.

Somehow, I think due to how vocal I was about the evil that was
coming upon me, they chose to pray over me first after we spent
about 5-10 mins just praising God for everything we could think of.
Then, "Granny" and Mrs. Thomas laid hands on me, specifically on
my head, and they began praying for specific things in my life
concerning relationships, our ministry, and then basically saying
for the Holy Spirit to move. Within two minutes of prayer, I began
to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit like never before and my
tongue became loose and slowly I ascended in volume with tongues.

This is, something I've never experienced before in my life, not
even close to. We've been talking, thinking about, and praying about
tongues and it's involvement in our lives for about a week. For nearly
an hour we spoke in tongues, proclaimed the name of God, thanked
our Jesus and praised him, lifted up many people and future situations,
and received the gift of the Holy Spirit. This evening will mark
a catalyst in my relationship with Christ, to know that Christ is
after me and at work in me like this is the most gratifying and
empowering feeling I have ever felt. John, Grant, and myself tonight
were loved so deep, and gifted with such a beautiful thing to be able
to pray in the Spirit. I hope and pray, that this a continual encounter
with the Holy Spirit, and his goodness.

My thankfulness to the Thomas family, is beyond what words could say.
You've loved us as your own, I feel genuinely and sincerely loved by
you all. Your impact on my life has been profound, and I know that it
is the work of our Savior, that not only brought us together but allowed
for what happened this evening to take place. Your prayers are those
that I greatly desire to be upon me and us as often as possible.
Father God, how good you are to give us these things that we do not
deserve. And I'm so thankful that you remind us that we are to be like
you, and you've given us your power through the Holy Spirit to raise the
dead, to heal the sick, to move mountains, and to do ALL things.
May Christ be known to all whom seek to find him, this is a battle for
souls and we are JUST getting started.
Praise God.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Fam.

Photo Cred: Cale Glendening
I was really stoked to get a legit, original and fun family pic.
This is a first for our family.
Pardon the lack symmetry, I didn't want to make it too small.