Monday, July 27, 2009
It is a pursuit beyond maintaining that I desire to have, to truly know my Jesus than to know of him. I am hard on myself with this, and I think that is because in my heart I almost always hold back; be it fear, apathy, or just being ashamed. This is certainly not a benchmark to which I wish to remain, Id prefer it disappear. It has been my prayer that the holy spirit manifest a heart of faith, trust and pure belief that our God can truly do anything and he has given us the power to do so as well. I pray judgement would fall from our lips and replaced with christ's embrace. As I delve deeper into "Celebration of Discipline" Ive started to realize that all these years Ive relied on my self and not God's grace. This has created a sense of unhealthy control that Id felt obligated to have, but to have his grace and understand it frees me of this burden. This is the pursuit, and at the very least I know it's there. The maintenance of a relationship should never overshadow the pursuit of the one you love. To maintain is to expire, but to pursue is true desire.