30He must become greater; I must become less.
I find my desire to learn about the bible, history, and language growing.
My desire to counsel has always been something in the back of my mind, to which I don't know what to do with. I don't want to do something because of it's comfortability, or it's accessibility, but I also don't want to do something simply because it's freedom's or possibilities. It's hard to say, because I analyze most everything. Here's what it comes to, I'd be lying if I said part of the recognition and money that come with being a recognized musician didn't have something to do with why I want to do it. But, in everything wewant to do in life has a drive and a desire behind it. But, my reasonings behind wanting to know language, history, the bible and so forth have very little selfish desire behind them. Again, there is the underlying desire to be respected, to come off as intelligent and as though I know exactly what I'm talking about.
I'm afraid there will never be contentment in anything I or we do until we listen to the voice of God, and do what HE wants for us. If he says, "go, play music, I'll provide, but you will never be famour nor will you be rich." I will follow, and I could say I only hope the riches I gain from that lifestyle would be experiences and freedom, but again if I'm submissive there would be no "but's."
I'm far from a good person, I believe. I think I am the scum of the earth, though I'm reassured by the Revelation of, well, Revelation. That sin is not who we are, in fact, it may not even be our nature. For we are saints, and sin is something that is a foreign act to us, as christians.
I prefer and believe that aspect a great deal more than the latter. It sets the standard high, it gives little room for justification, and it assures me that we are beautiful. We are saints, not sinners.
Sin is an act, not who we are.
Less of me, and more of you.