I just typed a beginning sentence what seemed to be a half dozen
times before deciding it was pointless. I know it is easy for me
to sit here behind all these 1's and 0's and write exactly what I
may think or feel on a subject and precede about my day or night
without a bother or thought of how it may have affected the reader.
I say this because, I've been thinking about you a lot lately.
You as in, anyone who may read this, know me, have met me, etc.
I think about you because I ask myself, "how do they perceive me?"
Not in a pretentious tone, but one of concern to me that you know
I truly care so it would only be logical to examine myself.
This question comes due to a great personal growth in my life in
the last half year, and truly this is an opportunity to boast in
my weakness just as Paul communicated to the Corinthians. It is my
weakness revealed, the revelation as Christ as my savior, and
the restoration in my life that he's done as to know that not only
have I been saved FROM sin but TO grace.
I realize many of my past mistakes and think of how trivial some of
those things were. Rolling my eyes when someone precious to me was
talking to me or telling me something, how condescending!? How could
I be so selfish and cold? This is not the heart I desire; I don't
know why I'm telling you this but I feel it is a good opportunity
to be transparent. Lately I take joy in listening, in getting the
milk, in mowing the lawn, in turning off the T.V. and taking out the
trash, in cleaning up messes I didn't make... in the little trivial
things that we sometimes don't think about but I know it means so
much to someone else.
Before I lacked initiative, but now I have less words on the matter
and my actions are obvious; again, this is simply to give Glory to
what God has done. I don't wait anymore, I move and do. I see the
sun and sleep at night, I accomplish more in one day than I used to
in a single week just months ago.
I am proud, yet I am humbled as my Savior and my Holy Spirit continue
to grow me. My sincerest regret remains for those whom I swore I
loved with words, but did not reflect with action. Just like the
gospels, we can have the information but it is the renewal of our
minds that makes the true difference. I can know about love, but to
functionally love, and I can know grace and the gospels but to
functionally live it out? It is the function that makes it real, words
are simply air unless we are living them out! And as I share my
heart with you, I ask simply that you pray for me and that if you
need prayer to let me know how I can pray for you. The prayer of the
righteous is powerful and effective, let us join together in this.
Pride, continue to fall.
Let us remember, it is better to serve than to be served.
And Father keep it in our hearts, less of me and more of you.
Go out and seek Jesus.