Breakthrough.

As I immerse myself in this season of unknowing, faith
growing work Holy Spirit is doing in my life, I ask
myself the question, "how bad do you want this?" How bad
do you want people to know his name, his love, his grace,
his beauty, his mercy, his greatness. Lord it is your
Renown, and that is truly what I desire to exist in my
life and the others that I come into contact with.
A huge blessing in my life right now is a book by John
Piper entitled, "Don't Waste Your Life." How fitting for
a man who has felt the majority of his life was a selfish
charade of one false hope after another.

As I read this Piper heart, Chad's heart via blog, I am
again reminded that if it is the desire of my heart for
a breakthrough with Christ in my life it is imperative
that I seek him with all that I have. As I wake early in
the morning now, I wake to seek my savior, the lover of
my soul. As I go to sleep early it is to remind me that I
am disciplined to the work of his kingdom, which first
requires a great work in a broken man's heart like my own.
A season of "confinement and refinement" that I share with
Come and Live! is upon us, and acts as a reminder of how
we must rely on God for everything.

Teach our hearts to boast in the cross (2 Corinthians 12)
and to practice self-forgetfulness my Father! And as Matt
Chandler says, "Can we maybe run some of the plays, instead
of just studying them?" I have to ask myself this daily, is
it my joy, do I rejoice in the cross of Christ? And if I do,
I want to show people the all-satisfying God.
Though I am weak, "He has said to me, 'My Grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about
my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Love Vs. Lust

I enjoyed this so much I couldn't help but post it.
It has occurred to me how little I knew about love, or rather,
how miserably I fail at showing love to others. Many of those
things I learned most recently after losing someone extremely
special to me. When I came to grips that it was my doing, my
lack of motivation, my apathy, my selfishness, the list goes on,
it was a turning point for me. That horrible experience, not
the relationship, I'm talking post relationship realization, taught
me some of the most important lessons I've ever learned.
There was so much good in it all, coupled with an equal
amount of bad, mostly that I feel responsible for but either way
I am a better man for today. I am thankful to God for putting
us through the difficult times, I may have never learned otherwise;
and she may never have had a chance to be cared for and loved
like she deserves.

My prayer is the we would learn to love as christ loved others. In
our friendships, relationships, and towards even the strangest
of strangers. Let us learn to sacrifice, let us learn to serve, let us
learn to truly love. The beauty of it all, is I feel that none of it was
ever in vein; she is happy, and I am happy that she is happy. Though
I'm missing out, I am content knowing that she is not. It was a
difficult lump to swallow initially, but now I know what it means
to truly love someone. To love someone is to do what's in their best
interest, no matter what it means for you or for them. This clip
has a great perspective on how I believe the world perceives love,
and what love really is.

It's been a while since I've posted and this seemed fitting based
upon how God has been working in my life as of late. Let's go
out and love, selflessly.
Go be His hands and His feet.

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty.

Tonight was one of the most substantially exuberant nights I've ever
experienced in all my life. This was something beyond fellowship that
I can ever recall having, and it happened in a suburban home outside
of Tulsa, OK with a family who I would consider my own. A mother, a
grandmother and 3 young men encountered the holy
spirit together like never before. For the women, this was nothing
out of the usual, for the young men though I must say an edifying
experience was at hand. We sat around the dinner table talking
about tongues, gifts of the spirit, and a vast selection of other
biblical referenced experiences. For an hour the holy spirit was
working on me, all the while evil whispering in my ear sewing seeds
of doubt, mistrust, and discouragement.

After an hour of listening and very little interaction myself, I
couldn't hold in much longer the pendulum like experience my soul
was encountering. It was as if, I was running after God but an
arm was reached out holding me back disallowing me to reach my
Savior. I expressed my feelings outwardly, and began to tell of the
things on my heart, that God has placed on my heart and that Satan
has tried eagerly to tear away at the validity of. After a few
minutes passed, Mrs. Thomas insisted that we pray and I could feel
the Holy Spirit swarming us as we prepared. The intention was to
release the power of the Holy Spirit from within us, to actually
receive the spirit like none of us 3 had ever before.

Somehow, I think due to how vocal I was about the evil that was
coming upon me, they chose to pray over me first after we spent
about 5-10 mins just praising God for everything we could think of.
Then, "Granny" and Mrs. Thomas laid hands on me, specifically on
my head, and they began praying for specific things in my life
concerning relationships, our ministry, and then basically saying
for the Holy Spirit to move. Within two minutes of prayer, I began
to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit like never before and my
tongue became loose and slowly I ascended in volume with tongues.

This is, something I've never experienced before in my life, not
even close to. We've been talking, thinking about, and praying about
tongues and it's involvement in our lives for about a week. For nearly
an hour we spoke in tongues, proclaimed the name of God, thanked
our Jesus and praised him, lifted up many people and future situations,
and received the gift of the Holy Spirit. This evening will mark
a catalyst in my relationship with Christ, to know that Christ is
after me and at work in me like this is the most gratifying and
empowering feeling I have ever felt. John, Grant, and myself tonight
were loved so deep, and gifted with such a beautiful thing to be able
to pray in the Spirit. I hope and pray, that this a continual encounter
with the Holy Spirit, and his goodness.

My thankfulness to the Thomas family, is beyond what words could say.
You've loved us as your own, I feel genuinely and sincerely loved by
you all. Your impact on my life has been profound, and I know that it
is the work of our Savior, that not only brought us together but allowed
for what happened this evening to take place. Your prayers are those
that I greatly desire to be upon me and us as often as possible.
Father God, how good you are to give us these things that we do not
deserve. And I'm so thankful that you remind us that we are to be like
you, and you've given us your power through the Holy Spirit to raise the
dead, to heal the sick, to move mountains, and to do ALL things.
May Christ be known to all whom seek to find him, this is a battle for
souls and we are JUST getting started.
Praise God.

The Fam.

Photo Cred: Cale Glendening
I was really stoked to get a legit, original and fun family pic.
This is a first for our family.
Pardon the lack symmetry, I didn't want to make it too small.

All Things Considered.

I was going to blog about my trip to Orlando, rather I'm just going
to thank Taylor for bringing me out. It was a really good time, it
was good to travel again and also to meet some rad new people. I am
anxious to see how your ministry flourishes amongst the people of
Orlando, you're heart of generosity and openness is really one I see
a great deal of Jesus in. I am reminded all too often by the white walls
of suburbia, that sometimes even for christians in America. entitlement
is our best friend. The more possessions we have, the more we feel a need
to protect them, the more responsibilities we have, and the more we have
to keep track of. Entitlement creeps in almost subconsciously, we get
caught up in our society and forget why God may have even given us
"this" or "that."

My friend Taylor has taught me a great deal of what community looks
like, what true love looks like, what open arms feel like, and what
true joy sounds like. Those were the least of the reasons of why I
was brought to Orlando, but some of the greatest things I took from
it. I still feel very honored to have come, and would do it again
in a heartbeat. My prayer is that this would be a reminder to us, that
we are after Christ of the center of our lives and often times we
look in the mirror and I see very little of him in us. I am not
promoting we all go sell all that we have, live totally meek lives,
and radically change your lifestyle; but I will promote generosity,
love, and a welcoming spirit. We live in a society where it is very
easy to put ourselves first, as I challenge myself to place myself
before others I will in turn challenge you.

Some of us may consider ourselves very giving, but look and see
who it is you are giving to. A stranger? Those in true need? People
that don't already have plenty? It was on my heart, and I felt like
sharing. Again, thank you Taylor, it was very refreshing and I'm
very glad God had me in mind when all this came about.

On a side, but very important, note:
Please pray for Sons of God right now, we have been having some
amazing spiritual encounters. It is very apparent to us that we are
headed in the right direction with all of this, as we embark on
the "battle for souls" Satan is out to get us and it has been all
the more evident as time goes by. The holy Spirit has been with us
and strengthening us, but please continue to pray for us on this
matter; it will only help.

Dove.

Dove, make your escape. If it were love that were
here it would be no mistake. I've just suffered
a blow, reminded of all that was good that I had,
I let go.

For some, the hardest things learned are moving
on while still holding on to the burns. The marks
that don't go away, not until hope comes will you
recognize you're displaced. The heart will begin to
grow, but not until you learn to let go.

Eyes I saw through the night, I was so battered
with years with some closure in sight. Kill all
that's inside, I hear the arms wrapped around
don't find struggle in sight, I know just as well
as you it's totally right.

For some, the hardest things learned are moving
on while still holding on to the burns. The marks
that don't go away, not until hope comes will you
recognize you're displaced. The heart will begin to
grow, but not until you learn to let go.

Cripple me with a lack of sleep and your silence
treats me like slaves for the trade. Pictures
burning the hearts are turning away I yearn to
forget what I've done.
Leave me all that is breathing of a past embodied
by one gentle soul. Life is better today even so
that one was so good for a time, but it's time
to let go.

Love Never Dies.

Your lips are pursed, white, you're freezin' to death.
Your eyes are glazed over, your hands start to twitch.
Unbeknownst to me through a peripheral view.
Your heart starts to beat as I whisper, "love you."
My cheek's pressed against the side of your head.
To tell you I'll love you while you're stuck in this bed.
My eyes glance down to your needle broke skin.
Your breath coincides with mine, you're breathing again.
I raise up my head to see you look back at me.
God I've prayed for so long for her to finally be.
Awake again looking me straight in the eyes.
To tell her what I told them when they said she would die.
My darling one night back 10 years to the day.
An accident left you asleep for a decade.
But I've been close by your bedside, for you to come to.
To tell you I love you, and that I've waited for you.