I Am All Grown Up

...In With The New

2010-01-25T17:14:00.000-08:00

www.aaronnewberry.com

The Genesis Prologue

2010-01-04T23:47:00.001-08:00

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This Is War

2009-11-12T01:12:00.000-08:00

THIS is why we are Sons of God.

The Feeling Of Relativity.

2009-11-10T03:05:00.000-08:00

So where do we go from here? I'm feeling it's most essential to live
like life has never been lived in past days. To grab hold of what you
love and love it so ferociously that your grip could not be weakened
by the blow of a sledge hammer. Sachs said it well, "Death is more
universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives." It is time
to live like there's no tomorrow! I'm truly motivated by my past, and
also by the present of those around me who trudge along begotten tortuous
paths towards some imaginary reconciliation of the last minute with the
next. When did we become so gun shy?
"The pain of discipline weighs ounces, but regret weighs tons." Such a
beautifully true statement; o to learn the discipline to live.

The sharpest of words can't change a man, or can they? Holy Spirit like
you have never moved before, we need you, we are desperate for you!
Can we not bring the heavenly to the hurting? If it be a song, if it be
a word, if it be a text all I ask is that you move. That you set these
steps before us for hearts to hear what we have to say.
Let us labor in prayer for you, seeking you with all that we have, and
on their behalf preparing the way before us.
We cry out to you Abba Father, I cry out to you.

Nothing is impossible for you, you hold my world in your hands.

Finish the Come & Live! Website!

2009-10-17T17:08:00.001-07:00

My Enemies Are Men Like Me

2009-10-07T00:37:00.001-07:00

Derek Webb

I have come to give you life
And to show you how to live it
I have come to make things right
To heal their ears and show you how to forgive them

Because I would rather die
I would rather die
I would rather die
Than to take your life

How can I kill the ones I'm supposed to love
My enemies are men like me
I will protest the sword if it's not wielded well
My enemies are men like me

Peace by way of war is like purity by way of fornication
It's like telling someone murder is wrong
And then showing them by way of execution

When justice is bought and sold just like weapons of war
The ones who always pay are the poorest of the poor

Devotion.

2009-09-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

The weight of separation from God is unbearable to me.
What separates me from him? Sin. For almost all my life
I've second guessed myself, only to wake up today realizing
that that's exactly why God is using me! He uses the weak
to shame the strong! I am just that, I am not perfect.
I never will be, but what I will be is sanctified by Christ
day in and day out as I seek him.

So let us stop doubting ourselves, because what our hearts
are crying is, "God, I do not trust you. I can only do this
if I'm better, or if I could just be a better christian."
There is no such thing as a "better christian," but there
is such a thing as devotion. Trust him, in John 14:13 Jesus
says, "Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that
the Father may be glorified in the Son." He is using us to
make him glorious, as if he needs us but he has chosen us.

Just like the gift of grace is a gift that we cannot earn,
so is this beautiful life he's chosen to use us in. Our
Creator chose us, and he knows that we are not perfect. The
big but here is, SEEK HIM. Be strengthened in the grace that
is in Jesus Christ, as Paul says. So this is it, today let's
begin to trust God the way were intended, with everything.

"I Am Living Vol. 1"

2009-09-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

Whether you’ve been following our steps over the last few months or you just happened upon this site, welcome! This web launch marks our somewhat official/unofficial launch, as we are finally able to begin doing one of the things that we’ve felt God place on our hearts: offering music as a 100% free, no-strings-attached, GIFT. It’s one of the smaller ways we can spell “LOVE”.

The Burden.

2009-08-25T12:51:00.001-07:00

I am the wolf
That's out for my prey
As sure as I'm cunning
A lamb will be slain
My fixture is men, I intend to devour them all
They are weak and they are small
And they answer when I call

Through all I have
In the palm of mine
The yeast will rise
In the bread of life
It's every little thing
It's a life of suffering
The burden of all
Is I was made to fall

I am the burden
of all the world
But their ignorant hearts just don't know
I am the master
They are the givers
I am the captor of souls

Burn them, down to the ground
Take no prisoners
If I can't win then I'll call them to sin
Surely I will own their hearts

A Call To Anguish.

2009-08-13T11:26:00.000-07:00

This stirred me to say the very least. The conviction of my wasted
hours now has feet and I will walk on them. What are we doing to
serve? Who are we rescuing, reaching, and loving? I ask myself
these things everyday, and I cannot picture myself doing enough.
I am not innocent, this is a matter of anguish of its own.
Let this excerpt speak to you, I pray it does as it did me.

Maintenance.

2009-07-27T02:18:00.000-07:00

It is a pursuit beyond maintaining that I desire to have, to truly know my Jesus than to know of him. I am hard on myself with this, and I think that is because in my heart I almost always hold back; be it fear, apathy, or just being ashamed. This is certainly not a benchmark to which I wish to remain, Id prefer it disappear. It has been my prayer that the holy spirit manifest a heart of faith, trust and pure belief that our God can truly do anything and he has given us the power to do so as well. I pray judgement would fall from our lips and replaced with christ's embrace. As I delve deeper into "Celebration of Discipline" Ive started to realize that all these years Ive relied on my self and not God's grace. This has created a sense of unhealthy control that Id felt obligated to have, but to have his grace and understand it frees me of this burden. This is the pursuit, and at the very least I know it's there. The maintenance of a relationship should never overshadow the pursuit of the one you love. To maintain is to expire, but to pursue is true desire.

I'm not here at the moment.

2009-06-27T22:16:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while. I've not only not been home in over a month, but I rarely have internet access on the road which makes for sparce updating. The tours have been great, recording for Sons in North Carolina with Drew was great, the festivals have been incredible, and I am on the eve of my 23rd birthday. Its crazy where life takes us, a year ago the last thing I'd expect for myself is to be on the road yet here I am. Im grateful for God providing in a way where I am able to connect with people and I pray that it would continue through with Sons far beyond what I can imagine. I wanted to update from the road, hopefully I'll have some time while home to expand on the last few weeks. Until then... seek Jesus relentlessly.

Not My Will But Yours.

2009-06-02T22:46:00.000-07:00

John Piper has a way about bringing the truth in a way
that hurts but helps at times. It hurts to know that we
embrace this lifestyle, but it helps to be
reminded of how terrible it is.
To clarify, I mean "terrible" that it is true that we live
just as Piper describes.
Not to Be Served But to Serve (Mark 10:45)

I Would Give My Life If It Would Shake The Youth of This Nation

2009-05-25T12:47:00.001-07:00

Every time I watch this video, I'm sincerely moved and blanketed
by the Holy Spirit. Thank you to Kyle for introducing me, and thank
you to Tony Chavez for the link to this.
John Mark McMillan, I cannot get enough of what God is doing
through you.

Ready and Willing.

2009-05-22T22:49:00.000-07:00

I just typed a beginning sentence what seemed to be a half dozen
times before deciding it was pointless. I know it is easy for me
to sit here behind all these 1's and 0's and write exactly what I
may think or feel on a subject and precede about my day or night
without a bother or thought of how it may have affected the reader.
I say this because, I've been thinking about you a lot lately.
You as in, anyone who may read this, know me, have met me, etc.
I think about you because I ask myself, "how do they perceive me?"
Not in a pretentious tone, but one of concern to me that you know
I truly care so it would only be logical to examine myself.

This question comes due to a great personal growth in my life in
the last half year, and truly this is an opportunity to boast in
my weakness just as Paul communicated to the Corinthians. It is my
weakness revealed, the revelation as Christ as my savior, and
the restoration in my life that he's done as to know that not only
have I been saved FROM sin but TO grace.

I realize many of my past mistakes and think of how trivial some of
those things were. Rolling my eyes when someone precious to me was
talking to me or telling me something, how condescending!? How could
I be so selfish and cold? This is not the heart I desire; I don't
know why I'm telling you this but I feel it is a good opportunity
to be transparent. Lately I take joy in listening, in getting the
milk, in mowing the lawn, in turning off the T.V. and taking out the
trash, in cleaning up messes I didn't make... in the little trivial
things that we sometimes don't think about but I know it means so
much to someone else.
Before I lacked initiative, but now I have less words on the matter
and my actions are obvious; again, this is simply to give Glory to
what God has done. I don't wait anymore, I move and do. I see the
sun and sleep at night, I accomplish more in one day than I used to
in a single week just months ago.

I am proud, yet I am humbled as my Savior and my Holy Spirit continue
to grow me. My sincerest regret remains for those whom I swore I
loved with words, but did not reflect with action. Just like the
gospels, we can have the information but it is the renewal of our
minds that makes the true difference. I can know about love, but to
functionally love, and I can know grace and the gospels but to
functionally live it out? It is the function that makes it real, words
are simply air unless we are living them out! And as I share my
heart with you, I ask simply that you pray for me and that if you
need prayer to let me know how I can pray for you. The prayer of the
righteous is powerful and effective, let us join together in this.

Pride, continue to fall.
Let us remember, it is better to serve than to be served.
And Father keep it in our hearts, less of me and more of you.
Go out and seek Jesus.

We Are All In This Together.

2009-05-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

Sharing The Heart of Come and Live!

2009-05-12T11:26:00.001-07:00

Sharing the Heart of Come&Live! from Come&Live! on Vimeo.

I Get It, But Do I Get It?

2009-05-11T00:26:00.000-07:00

I've been blank in seeking after Christ, blank outwardly
to greater take in the gospel. Listening to The Village
podcast archives, "The Gospel Recognition" and "Gospel
Contextualization" have been pounding me with biblical
insight I've been missing for years as a christian. They
brought about some of those, "wow, that's me" moments.
I have to admit, as distasteful as "nominal christianity"
seems, which Chandler mentions quite a bit along with the
rest of the teaching staff, I think all too often I fall
in that category myself.
Upon realizing this, it was evident in my heart that a
change was necessary and one that I greatly desired. I
say this to boast in my weakness. My pride has caught the
best of me, and ruined the best of me since I was young;
I even went through a couple of years of counseling dealing
with anger, which turned into bitterness, then healed over
into shame.

What this short series of sermons brought to the surface
was remarkably accurate of who I see in the mirror. Someone
that fundamentally gets the gospel, but does not functionally
get the gospel. I have been learning to think WITH the bible
rather than about it. I know we are always learning and being
made holy as seeking christians, but sometimes I feel so far
behind the curve that I've got so much catching up to do.
I'm blessed to be surrounded and united with great people of
faith and wisdom that disciple me and direct me to prayer and
the word often; if it were not for them I think more often
than not I would be left to make decisions I simply cannot
make alone sometimes.

My love for his goodness, his holiness, his redemptive work on
the cross, continues to beat greater each day. It's my prayer
that we would grasp the gospel, functionally, that we would not
be caught up in spiritual superiority but humble servant-hood.
Mark 10: 45For even the Son of Man did not come to be served,
but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." That
we would get our feet dirty as Jesus did, that we would live with
Reckless Abandon and go where he sends us no matter the cost.
Philippians 1: 21For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
I'm loving where God has placed my friend Tony Chavez, and what
God has laid upon he and his family's hearts and also how he is
allowing us to encourage each other. I believe big things are
on the near horizon, the Holy Spirit is moving monsterously, I
pray we proudly accept the call.

James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive
yourselves. Do what it says.

Breakthrough.

2009-04-28T12:51:00.001-07:00

As I immerse myself in this season of unknowing, faith
growing work Holy Spirit is doing in my life, I ask
myself the question, "how bad do you want this?" How bad
do you want people to know his name, his love, his grace,
his beauty, his mercy, his greatness. Lord it is your
Renown, and that is truly what I desire to exist in my
life and the others that I come into contact with.
A huge blessing in my life right now is a book by John
Piper entitled, "Don't Waste Your Life." How fitting for
a man who has felt the majority of his life was a selfish
charade of one false hope after another.

As I read this Piper heart, Chad's heart via blog, I am
again reminded that if it is the desire of my heart for
a breakthrough with Christ in my life it is imperative
that I seek him with all that I have. As I wake early in
the morning now, I wake to seek my savior, the lover of
my soul. As I go to sleep early it is to remind me that I
am disciplined to the work of his kingdom, which first
requires a great work in a broken man's heart like my own.
A season of "confinement and refinement" that I share with
Come and Live! is upon us, and acts as a reminder of how
we must rely on God for everything.

Teach our hearts to boast in the cross (2 Corinthians 12)
and to practice self-forgetfulness my Father! And as Matt
Chandler says, "Can we maybe run some of the plays, instead
of just studying them?" I have to ask myself this daily, is
it my joy, do I rejoice in the cross of Christ? And if I do,
I want to show people the all-satisfying God.
Though I am weak, "He has said to me, 'My Grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about
my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Love Vs. Lust

2009-04-20T23:37:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed this so much I couldn't help but post it.
It has occurred to me how little I knew about love, or rather,
how miserably I fail at showing love to others. Many of those
things I learned most recently after losing someone extremely
special to me. When I came to grips that it was my doing, my
lack of motivation, my apathy, my selfishness, the list goes on,
it was a turning point for me. That horrible experience, not
the relationship, I'm talking post relationship realization, taught
me some of the most important lessons I've ever learned.
There was so much good in it all, coupled with an equal
amount of bad, mostly that I feel responsible for but either way
I am a better man for today. I am thankful to God for putting
us through the difficult times, I may have never learned otherwise;
and she may never have had a chance to be cared for and loved
like she deserves.

My prayer is the we would learn to love as christ loved others. In
our friendships, relationships, and towards even the strangest
of strangers. Let us learn to sacrifice, let us learn to serve, let us
learn to truly love. The beauty of it all, is I feel that none of it was
ever in vein; she is happy, and I am happy that she is happy. Though
I'm missing out, I am content knowing that she is not. It was a
difficult lump to swallow initially, but now I know what it means
to truly love someone. To love someone is to do what's in their best
interest, no matter what it means for you or for them. This clip
has a great perspective on how I believe the world perceives love,
and what love really is.

It's been a while since I've posted and this seemed fitting based
upon how God has been working in my life as of late. Let's go
out and love, selflessly.
Go be His hands and His feet.

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty.

2009-04-08T00:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight was one of the most substantially exuberant nights I've ever
experienced in all my life. This was something beyond fellowship that
I can ever recall having, and it happened in a suburban home outside
of Tulsa, OK with a family who I would consider my own. A mother, a
grandmother and 3 young men encountered the holy
spirit together like never before. For the women, this was nothing
out of the usual, for the young men though I must say an edifying
experience was at hand. We sat around the dinner table talking
about tongues, gifts of the spirit, and a vast selection of other
biblical referenced experiences. For an hour the holy spirit was
working on me, all the while evil whispering in my ear sewing seeds
of doubt, mistrust, and discouragement.

After an hour of listening and very little interaction myself, I
couldn't hold in much longer the pendulum like experience my soul
was encountering. It was as if, I was running after God but an
arm was reached out holding me back disallowing me to reach my
Savior. I expressed my feelings outwardly, and began to tell of the
things on my heart, that God has placed on my heart and that Satan
has tried eagerly to tear away at the validity of. After a few
minutes passed, Mrs. Thomas insisted that we pray and I could feel
the Holy Spirit swarming us as we prepared. The intention was to
release the power of the Holy Spirit from within us, to actually
receive the spirit like none of us 3 had ever before.

Somehow, I think due to how vocal I was about the evil that was
coming upon me, they chose to pray over me first after we spent
about 5-10 mins just praising God for everything we could think of.
Then, "Granny" and Mrs. Thomas laid hands on me, specifically on
my head, and they began praying for specific things in my life
concerning relationships, our ministry, and then basically saying
for the Holy Spirit to move. Within two minutes of prayer, I began
to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit like never before and my
tongue became loose and slowly I ascended in volume with tongues.

This is, something I've never experienced before in my life, not
even close to. We've been talking, thinking about, and praying about
tongues and it's involvement in our lives for about a week. For nearly
an hour we spoke in tongues, proclaimed the name of God, thanked
our Jesus and praised him, lifted up many people and future situations,
and received the gift of the Holy Spirit. This evening will mark
a catalyst in my relationship with Christ, to know that Christ is
after me and at work in me like this is the most gratifying and
empowering feeling I have ever felt. John, Grant, and myself tonight
were loved so deep, and gifted with such a beautiful thing to be able
to pray in the Spirit. I hope and pray, that this a continual encounter
with the Holy Spirit, and his goodness.

My thankfulness to the Thomas family, is beyond what words could say.
You've loved us as your own, I feel genuinely and sincerely loved by
you all. Your impact on my life has been profound, and I know that it
is the work of our Savior, that not only brought us together but allowed
for what happened this evening to take place. Your prayers are those
that I greatly desire to be upon me and us as often as possible.
Father God, how good you are to give us these things that we do not
deserve. And I'm so thankful that you remind us that we are to be like
you, and you've given us your power through the Holy Spirit to raise the
dead, to heal the sick, to move mountains, and to do ALL things.
May Christ be known to all whom seek to find him, this is a battle for
souls and we are JUST getting started.
Praise God.

The Fam.

2009-04-04T17:55:00.000-07:00

Photo Cred: Cale Glendening
I was really stoked to get a legit, original and fun family pic.
This is a first for our family.
Pardon the lack symmetry, I didn't want to make it too small.

All Things Considered.

2009-03-23T01:18:00.000-07:00

I was going to blog about my trip to Orlando, rather I'm just going
to thank Taylor for bringing me out. It was a really good time, it
was good to travel again and also to meet some rad new people. I am
anxious to see how your ministry flourishes amongst the people of
Orlando, you're heart of generosity and openness is really one I see
a great deal of Jesus in. I am reminded all too often by the white walls
of suburbia, that sometimes even for christians in America. entitlement
is our best friend. The more possessions we have, the more we feel a need
to protect them, the more responsibilities we have, and the more we have
to keep track of. Entitlement creeps in almost subconsciously, we get
caught up in our society and forget why God may have even given us
"this" or "that."

My friend Taylor has taught me a great deal of what community looks
like, what true love looks like, what open arms feel like, and what
true joy sounds like. Those were the least of the reasons of why I
was brought to Orlando, but some of the greatest things I took from
it. I still feel very honored to have come, and would do it again
in a heartbeat. My prayer is that this would be a reminder to us, that
we are after Christ of the center of our lives and often times we
look in the mirror and I see very little of him in us. I am not
promoting we all go sell all that we have, live totally meek lives,
and radically change your lifestyle; but I will promote generosity,
love, and a welcoming spirit. We live in a society where it is very
easy to put ourselves first, as I challenge myself to place myself
before others I will in turn challenge you.

Some of us may consider ourselves very giving, but look and see
who it is you are giving to. A stranger? Those in true need? People
that don't already have plenty? It was on my heart, and I felt like
sharing. Again, thank you Taylor, it was very refreshing and I'm
very glad God had me in mind when all this came about.

On a side, but very important, note:
Please pray for Sons of God right now, we have been having some
amazing spiritual encounters. It is very apparent to us that we are
headed in the right direction with all of this, as we embark on
the "battle for souls" Satan is out to get us and it has been all
the more evident as time goes by. The holy Spirit has been with us
and strengthening us, but please continue to pray for us on this
matter; it will only help.

Dove.

2009-03-07T23:41:00.000-08:00

Dove, make your escape. If it were love that were
here it would be no mistake. I've just suffered
a blow, reminded of all that was good that I had,
I let go.

For some, the hardest things learned are moving
on while still holding on to the burns. The marks
that don't go away, not until hope comes will you
recognize you're displaced. The heart will begin to
grow, but not until you learn to let go.

Eyes I saw through the night, I was so battered
with years with some closure in sight. Kill all
that's inside, I hear the arms wrapped around
don't find struggle in sight, I know just as well
as you it's totally right.

For some, the hardest things learned are moving
on while still holding on to the burns. The marks
that don't go away, not until hope comes will you
recognize you're displaced. The heart will begin to
grow, but not until you learn to let go.

Cripple me with a lack of sleep and your silence
treats me like slaves for the trade. Pictures
burning the hearts are turning away I yearn to
forget what I've done.
Leave me all that is breathing of a past embodied
by one gentle soul. Life is better today even so
that one was so good for a time, but it's time
to let go.

Love Never Dies.

2009-03-06T05:23:00.000-08:00

Your lips are pursed, white, you're freezin' to death.
Your eyes are glazed over, your hands start to twitch.
Unbeknownst to me through a peripheral view.
Your heart starts to beat as I whisper, "love you."
My cheek's pressed against the side of your head.
To tell you I'll love you while you're stuck in this bed.
My eyes glance down to your needle broke skin.
Your breath coincides with mine, you're breathing again.
I raise up my head to see you look back at me.
God I've prayed for so long for her to finally be.
Awake again looking me straight in the eyes.
To tell her what I told them when they said she would die.
My darling one night back 10 years to the day.
An accident left you asleep for a decade.
But I've been close by your bedside, for you to come to.
To tell you I love you, and that I've waited for you.

Regret.

2009-03-05T08:06:00.001-08:00

Deepest regret, I've ever known.
To me your face tonight was shown.
Once lost three times now gone for good.
Hold fast to love next time you should.
The weight builds deep within my chest.
The tears held back I'm such a mess.
What have you done you foolish man?
Do not provoke your sinful plans.
Your eyes were fooled by lustful thoughts.
Your mind gave in to evil plots.
Now gone for good the love you knew.
Months later finds this love was true.
Too self concerned to be aware.
The love she gave so very rare.
The night will end with you alone.
Just trust in God your dreams and hopes.
One day will come where she may see.
You've learned to love and love so deep.
If you shall fail, get up again.
Just show her love through to the end.

Just an after thought, love will be
simply letting go.

Passover.

2009-03-05T05:08:00.001-08:00

We are captivated by our silk screened walls
Making fake partitians to watch them fall
Children come with your blistered souls come young
We will build you into a city of strangers
Where you will learn to hate to crawl
These are the jacknifed hands of a suicidal
Reaching in to grab his gun
We will teach you how to whisper
Like good girls and boys all do
We wouldn't want them overhearing
While we teach them to slander you

Bring us back to life
We are at arms with a fallen age
I keep saying "we" but my God
Some one's got to be to blame
Can you see the snake in the grass
Or is your apathy in the way
I'd say he's got us right where he wants us
And he intends to take his prey

Why, Oh My God Why
Have we fallen in love again
We are the youth of monotony
We are the men who devour sin
Our arms are too weak to hold
Whatever death we carried in
Our legs are too weak to stand
And we will fail to make amends

Indicative we've become
Suggestive like the rest
They stand before you
With heads held high
But everyone of them is
Afraid of death
We are all the visitors
Our language's suffered a blow
Won't you please passover all of us
To save a world with displaced hope

Cold.

2009-02-27T14:29:00.000-08:00

Why are we so alone
When our God reminds us he's so very close
Why are we so afraid
When our God gave us promises
He holds us in grace

Betrothed to the loneliness
Your sin apprehends
A man made in fire
With fruit in his hands
Spends all his time persuading
The masses manipulating
This sin we call home

The fire's still warm
Where you last laid your head
The windows froze shut
While you slept in your beds
The good watches over
The bad tries to breach
Frequently pacing just
waiting to reach

What Perfect Timing.

2009-02-25T07:07:00.000-08:00

Ok, brief synapses of what is going on right now.
- Phone is totally broken.
- Had to get two new tires.
- Just found out my bank account is overdrawn, after
thinking I balanced correctly for once.
- Credit Card bill is stacking up (something I swore
I would never allow)
- I have $60 to my name.
- Bills are stacking up.

So, where do I find myself?
Still trusting God, teaching me to be responsible,
teaching me to rely on him. And despite all this
chaos, all I can think to myself is how good he is.
The beautiful amazing people he puts in my life, and
the circumstances he is in control of. The things
he is delivering me from, the immense love he has for
me. Often times I feel his embrace when I am most
alone, and I feel his breath when it seems I have
none. My God, you are so very good. My words are not
enough to describe, but you know my deep longing to
be near to you. I am so ready for what you've got
in store!

To anyone reading, your prayers are deeply appreciated.
We as a band, and as individuals spend a great deal
of time seeking the needs of our friends, families,
church, fans, etc. If you need prayer, please let us
know. We/I want to pray for you, it would be an
honor.
I love each and everyone of you, with all that I have.
I am lousy at showing it sometimes, but just know
that it's true.
- Aaron

Raging Love.

2009-02-22T01:46:00.000-08:00

You remind me of the hope I found.
When peace made waves through the underground.
Contemplative in speak and thought combined.
When the words of saints would fill my lungs.
Overflowing through to a raging tongue.
Imagining where love and lives collide.

The rage of all the world embodies me.
If only thoughts I called reliable were
to be the hands to free.
Slaves we've - become these - self-sufficient
beings with wool covering our eyes.

Chains.

2009-02-21T02:25:00.000-08:00

I am not enjoying these chains.
Lord God would you lift them for me?
The freedom we've come to know in you
set sail amongst raging seas.
Bound by weight and putrid saints
I fall short of glory above.
The weight you bore, the cross adorned
Come back my one true love.
My God above in majesty clothed in
grace most high.
You've shared your coat with one too
many a son whose left to die.
Unworthy I fall before your thrown
with tears that overflow.
My son if only you'd seek me as
you had some time ago.
Let majesty engulf me, your goodness
bring me in.
I gave myself upon the cross, I know
not of your sins.

Issues.

2009-02-15T02:59:00.000-08:00

I often find myself running from open arms.
I feel I run the risk of exacerbating dry
the arms in which to hold me. It is difficult
for me to even find love in family at times.
I suffer, from feeling awkward even around
the people who practically raised me.
The derivative and explanation are still
a science in which I do not understand; but
I am restless wit these feelings. I am not
sure how much longer I can handle feeling
like a stranger among my own family. Being
so afraid to share myself with the people
who want it most. To even love again.

A prisoner in my own walls that I've
subconsciously constructed over the years;
and I've no idea where to start to get
them down.

The Resistant.

2009-02-09T04:25:00.000-08:00

I am the resistant.
The assistant to the world.
Feeble hearts a'pounding.
Holding the weight of rusted pearls.

I am the resistant.
The shot glass never lies.
The spirits claim their weight on me
with unsuspecting eyes.

I am the resistant.
Fornicating with mens wives.
I will please my mistress with
a wife at home denied.

We have to got to be more
Than slaves to lucy and guests.
Running from the word with
targets marked on our chests.
We are the animals devouring.
The men who're overpowering.
God, would you bring light
Your Kingdom Come!

Fist Fight with Thistles.

2009-02-05T04:27:00.000-08:00

Wake me up again.
So I can hear the sound of a gentle whisper.
Echoed again in a way
that cuts like the thistles.
I can hardly make out
you words from the distance.
You may reach, but your words will not
breach the walls of a heart unwilling
to greet.

Our hearts pound like fists.
Rain rains with the weight of your lists.
Of forget me nots and quotes alike.
They give momentary bliss followed by
the way even the eldest of us miss.

"I want to see you." we say to others
But they both know it's meant for another.
God's eyes upon us, without glances, his
word is our promise;
Drag it through the vines or the thistles
aligned to come out on the end where our
souls are intwined tying knots in the
way we say I love you each day burying
pasts far away never to be heard of again.

Our hearts pound like fists.
Rain rains with the weight of your lists.
Of forget me nots and quotes alike.
They give momentary bliss followed by
the way even the eldest of us miss.

My own head isn't high enough
Even my own words tend to fly
Over and above for me to reach
far too high.
Sight is a bearing only an old
soul would know for he had won
what he fought for with his love
by his side.

I have lost many battles which I fought
'til the end.
Literal harsh endings when I should have
just given in.

Threshold.

2009-02-03T02:41:00.000-08:00

I'd prefer you never wonder.
I'd rather you'd always know.
I sewed the seeds from yesterday.
I thought would help you grow.
Seasons captured glimpses into
lives we'd someday lead.
Mistakes considered seasons what
we'd never hope to be.
Preface it with happiness with
gay times running wild.
Emotions craved by femininity
and men would turn them mild.
To some love has just become a
word to share with a counterpart.
The sacrifice of love though was
intent straight from the heart.
If failing love is means to end
and friends, they cease to speak.
Then feelings changed intentions
so called love truly was meek.
Forget about your sadness, all
emotion come and gone.
Rely not on emotion, for it will
rob you all life long.
Forget about the feelings, all
the hindered state of mind.
Feelings render uselessness and
leave you seeming blind.
Love knows not a threshold but
of one and one alone.
It knows when it is not returned
and will surely venture home.
It knows nothing of safety, nor
of holding back when pure.
It knows nothing of restlessness,
it never searches for a cure.
Love, it is the antidote we are
always reaching for.
Sacrifice yourself that is when
love is truly born.

The Best.

2009-02-02T03:26:00.000-08:00

I could not have asked for a better weekend than this past "weekend"
I just had. It was like a 5 day weekend really, with all the schools
being out due to the crazy ice all over the place, Zak and the other
fella's were able to kick it with us for a good bit; and right in
time for John's arrival too. Thursday we had our first practice with
all of us together and it could not have gone better; we rehearsed
for nearly 8 hours. Friday we had our photoshoot so we spent the
entire day in Tulsa, it was a blast! We shot in 3 locations, and I'm
really excited to show everyone how awesome Lane and Cale are at
what they do.

Zak, John, and myself are lucky to have feet after standing on ice,
literally, for about 3 hours. Also, our amazing new friend Paige was
along to provide us an extra hand and encouragement for the shoot.
Cheddars after the shoot was incredible, followed by the amazing new
Clint Eastwood film, "Gran Torino." Just an incredible film.
Saturday my amazing friends So Long Forgotten played at our venue
here in Muskogee, along with All The Day Holiday and some locals.
I had an absolute blast that night, getting to see old friends, hear
GREAT music from GREAT artists, mending an important friendship, late
night Ihop with Nick, Big Nate, and the rest of Sons capped off with
a nice evening of laughter and stories with So Long and Sons.

And tonight we had a Super Bowl Party for the Youth Group, man I
tell ya I just fall more in love with this group everytime I get
to be around 'em. Mike does an incredible work at Boulevard, and
I'm super excited to be a Youth Coach and hang out with all these
awesome young people. Needless to say, after having a terrible two
previous weeks of sickness and loneliness, the light at the end of
the tunnel out shined any darkness that may have been lingering
beforehand.

Friday night after our shoot and evening in Tulsa, we (Sons) spent
a good hour sliding around on the ice and followed that up with an
amazing time of prayer. We prayed relentlessly, and I want to make
it a point that this is not to speak of to raise ourselves up nor
to even hint at something we have done, it's an acknowledgment of
2 years of patience finally beginning to take shape; and it didn't
happen on a stage in front of tons of people, it happened in a room
with the three of us, praying with each other for hours. It was the
beginning of a culmination of things that had brought each one of
us to that point, and my heart was so very glad. I'd go into more
detail but I believe many things will become more evident in the
future to people on the outside looking in on us. Here's a video
update from the previous week, enjoy!

Sons of God Video Blog #1 from Aaron Newberry on Vimeo.

Bicycle Rides with nowhere to hide.

2009-01-25T03:42:00.000-08:00

I do not want to feel like I just say what you want to hear.
My mind is racing, and I cannot control my thoughts at the
moment. I contemplate God, and christianity and where I fit
in with all of it. I am not even a fraction of who I desire
to be and the intimacy between my saviour exists with a
present gap. I am broken, and I am weak. I find myself
even unmotivated at times, and others like there is nothing
that could stop me. I'm growing weary of the day to day
living, the feeling determined day, the apathy that comes
and goes. I am a sinner, I am the chief of all sinners I
feel at times; though I bear no resemblance of Paul I am
afraid.

The heart is there, but the action follows by about 30-50%
at times. I read the great books like "The Heavenly Man"
and so desire for that kind of faith, that life of holiness
that seeks after God, and total reliance upon him. But I
tell you truthfully, that is not me. And I've no idea what
is keeping me from it. The obvious is sin, but what else
is missing? I'm to the point where I would beg to get my
head in line with my heart, to wash his feet with my tears
because I can bear this no longer.

I feel like my faith could move a bicycle on a good day.
So what mountains should I expect to move?! I know he is real
and I know he is my king, but what about my love bears
and resemblance that that is true within my heart. I am
a liar, I am a fiend, an elitist, prideful, selfish, and
sometimes even manipulative man. I have very little to call
my own, and very little that even makes me a man. I suppose
this is my idea of transparency, but I am at the end of
my rope. My God would you not transcend my life into
something that is worthy to you!? I've not an idea of how to
move forward and farther from what haunts me, the sins that
I carry and the people that I have hurt.

This pride is far too large to swallow, but would it vanish
through your power? This tongue has done plenty of damage
but could that not be healed by your grace? These eyes have
looked sin face to face and embraced what I swore to you I
hated, but did you not bear the cross for me!? Lord, I am
ready and willing, but I do not know what all that even
means sometimes. You must teach me, when I do seek you and
I do with all I've got at times, but I cannot do this alone.
Whatever I have, whatever that keeps me from you, take it
from me. All I want is you, but I admittedly cannot do it
without your strength. I'm begging you, strengthen me.
Give me the want to want to father; so that I may fall
deeply and madly in love with you.

Adapting.

2009-01-25T02:11:00.001-08:00

Adapting to being "single" I suppose what many would consider
it has been unorthodox thinking for me. This has been different
as in, I didn't feel like I had to reprogram my thought process
or throw away everything that would be reminiscent but rather
it was like a slow fade of affection directed back towards God.
Now, it would be important to note I believe that my relationship
with Jesus is a continued process of learning, messing up,
questioning, relying, ignoring, drawing near to, etc. My
affections for him are not always stirred, and many times I
wake up and I have to force myself to seek him.

The relationships are the same way, and I miss Jordyn to a
different degree everyday, but I am glad that this was an
obvious step that needed to be taken. The growth taken place
in my life and hers is obvious, and that makes me happy.
I know I was not ready, no matter how I would try to convince
myself, it would eventually catch up to me. The circumstances
added to the situation did not make it any easier, but the
microscope I was under I was simply not ready for. So this
is where the adapting comes in, the "what's next?" kind of
mindset, and what do I focus on for the present.

It's not about someone, it's not about something, it's all
about Jesus. I know when we allow him to shape every area
of our life, "coincidences" begin to occur more and we begin
to be taken places and meeting new people, and so on. God is
many times in this awkward position of fulfilling us, and
waiting on us at the same time. It's become more evident to
me as the days have come and gone, that it is so very important
to be a adequate representation of Christ. It's what the
world sees, it's all that people wonder about christianity really
get to have a good look at. This has all been an adapting
process for me, because being single has left a large margin
for opportunity in meeting people, and admittedly it's a bit
daunting and I want to make sure that whatever the circumstance
I get to show them Jesus.

I greatly desire to feel like a man, that is fulfilled by God
and "ready" to fulfill the role that he has placed before me. I
look forward to the day of when I get to start my own family, and
when Sons has been at it for years and established its firm
foundation within the world. I look forward to these days, that is
why THIS time is so very important and necessary. Again, my time
with Jordyn was wonderful, and I wouldn't trade a minute back, not
one. Just like with any of my friends, what I learn from them and
sometimes how I can be convicted through them, is such an important
process. We disciple each other subconsciously sometimes, I love
to just sit back and watch it when I notice. I think one day I will
be ready for the previously mentioned tasks and opportunities, but
for now I will continue to adapt, one day at time.

Under Attack.

2009-01-22T00:35:00.000-08:00

My soul has felt a weight for some days now, feeling under siege
from the enemy and tormenting me with distrust. As I struggle with
issues of pride and stubbornness God has brought opportunity for
me to act against these weaknesses and I have to be honest I have
not done so well. My former relationship, brought
out much of this in me in a good way.

I was taught many things over the past few months, and though
our mistakes are reconcilable I feel like it brought about one
of the best learning experiences I've gone through in all my life.
It challenged me to be real, to follow through, to act selfless
and was a good encourager. I regret to say many times I did not
respond kindly rather my pride shown brighter than any
remnant of love I felt I had to give.

I have amazing friends, Nick, Huck, Zak, Taylor,
John, Randall, Jared... these guys help me to be a better me.
I see attributes in them I wish I had many times. Obviously
Satan is out to ruin me (us) but I have hardly put up a fight.
My greatest desire is for my pride to fall, and in a conversation
tonight with my good friend Jake he really put into words some
things I really needed to hear. I do not always want to be
right, and I do not want to feel like I always have something to
protect. the sanctification process we are all in is growing
more evident to me and my prayer is that God's wisdom would
continue to reign supreme in my thought process and interaction
with others.

I have been a prime example of a brother looking at the speck
in their eyes and not examining the plank in my own. This is
difficult for me to admit, but I need to admit it in order to
take a step to remedy the situation. I've been blessed with
people around me whom challenge me daily, but a spirit of
gentleness has ceased to exist rather in the way I truly wish
existed. When I pray "Less of me, and more of you Father. I
must decrease so that you may increase," I feel he is hearing
that prayer loudly and testing me immensely as of late. Our
faults prayerfully will be torn away from our core more each
day as we fervently seek after God. A heart close to him
clearly is shown in the fruit of the spirit. And, our true
desires I believe are to gain that intimacy with Christ. It
is my most frequent prayer, that we would draw near to him.

The opportunity before us (Sons of God) and those close to
us is one that requires the utmost reliance on our Heavenly
Father and this will be a process. I pray we would be
disciplined in diligently seeking him. Thank you to all of
my amazing friends for challenging me each day to truly seek
after Jesus; take us to the cross so we could could be
reminded of the grace you spilled out for us Father.

Sincerely,
Aaron.

Tears.

2009-01-18T04:50:00.000-08:00

My tears have hardly ceased for the past two hours.
As I was watching "Hotel Rwanda," the reality sank in
deep into my soul of how ashamed I am. I walk around
here in the United States as I watch images of genocide
and war everyday, and do nothing. Boldly I have stayed
in my home, enjoying the luxuries of America while they
still last yet millions go hungry, millions are forced
to do labor, and even worse millions are killed.

The genocide that took place in Rwanda in 1994 took
the lives of nearly 1 million people. And here we are,
reading this blog, and saying to ourselves, "oh no, that's
so terrible!" Let me stop you right there, and I want
you to listen very closely to the following words.
Shut your mouth. And if you intend on opening it, my
suggestion to you is to do something with it. "Yes, yes
I know Aaron, but what!?" There are resources and
organizations around the WORLD that should be overflowing
with volunteers and people willing to help, but we
are fine here. We have our jobs, we have our failing
economy, we have our families. But what about them!?

What about the hundreds of thousands of children in slavery
today, kidnapped by the militia that are brainwashed into
believing killing as many people as they can will be honorable.
These are children! Many of whom haven't even reached double
digits in age! And what gets me is, America, the police of
the world, haven't done anything to stop all this. And for
Rwandans, no voice was heard, the cries of the oppressed were
heard by God but certainly not by us.
So, Katrina hits us and it's the end of the world; a
natural disaster that couldn't be stopped. But instead
we have the power and resources to end things like this
from happening and we turn a deaf ear.

My days of sitting back and watching are over, I swear
to you this. I will never sit back and say to myself again
"I wish I could have done something." I serve a God who
is far greater than for me to think I am helpless. He has
told me I can move mountains if only I have the faith of
a mustard seed! I would stand in the midst of fire if it
meant one child go unharmed. I will be strengthened by my
Heavenly Father who transcends any life or death on earth.
I will take the gospel to the far reaches of the earth,
because when I die I do not want to look down and see my
pocket book empty from all the giving I did over the years.
I want to look down and see the scars I've accumulated from
putting myself in the way of tyrants and warlords and I want
to see a household filled with children whom had no home.

I want to look down and see the bruises on my legs from
sleeping on the ground with people forced out of their
homes, I want to see dirty mangled feet from walking with
my brothers and sisters in Christ in foreign countries to
stop the bleeding. I want to see this, all of this!
Let it only be for the sake of the Kingdom. I am filled
with rage at apathy, filled with grief from the lives
lost at the hands of sinister men, and filled with shame
that I did nothing for so long.
Enjoy your recliner, I would much rather die for the Kingdom
than gain weight in my chair!

P.S. Yes, I know, the truth is difficult to bear. It's easy
to hear truth that challenges us to the little "get your
life together," workshop series life renovation plans.
But this is a real call.

Weakness.

2009-01-12T15:19:00.000-08:00

Weakness overcomes me like the waves of raging seas.
Coerced in matrimony I've married to hostility.
My breath it lasts forever when my heart's collapsed in grief.
Imagine all the living I have lived away for me .
True life will last forever when my God will make me free.

Claim.

2009-01-08T01:01:00.002-08:00

I mentioned to someone dear to me recently, that it seemed
as though God had stripped me of all "feeling" as to make
his presence more available to me in my life. I believe that
sometimes as humans, us finite beings, we use our feelings
over our faith to convince ourselves of morality over true
spirituality which in turn are superficial. Take the New
Years resolution, for example,it's like everyone thinks that
they're going to do things different this year as opposed
to the way they did them last year despite the fact that
there's not a lot of historical precedent to back up that
hope at all.
It's a bit silly, and I don't think this is everyone but I
think the bulk of people think this because they have things
in their life that they wish weren't the way they were. Most
of this is borderline silly, and almost all of it's surface,
which is why nothing really changes.

Here's why basically, if you're trying to ,say, get in shape
and lose weight but have not done the deeper digging to try &
figure out why you use food to comfort emotional and spiritual
pain, or why you're lazy, then all you've done is put a
band-aid on something much deeper and much more problematic.
And even if you can shed some pounds, at best all you've done
is thrown some dirt over the weeds, they'll eventually push
their way through. And this is relevant to anything, any
issue at all.

This is why I agree with many of our leaders, whom love the
church but realize, there's an epidemic in the Western
Church. The majority of it IS surface, and the majority of
them do not dig deeper and truly teach. This has left many
christians today, whom may have been faithful christians for
decades even, ankle deep at best in the word. Again, this
is not a finger pointing contest, this is the stand up and
let's say, "come on people, we can do this, let's do this
together" ideology. It would do many of us so much good to
start with the Life of Christ, that's pretty obvious though.

Now hear me out, one of the only reasons why I know this to
be true is because I fit the criteria more times than I care
to admit. And I've also been many many places, and seen the
difference from the genuine depth that you receive when you
have disciplined yourself in seeking God, and the useless
canter of those who can only go so far as to claim such things.
Like in 2 Timothy 2 when Paul challenges Timothy who is like
a son to him.
He says "1You then, my son, be strong in the
grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2And the things you have heard
me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable
men who will also be qualified to teach others.3Endure
hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 4No
one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs—he
wants to please his commanding officer. 5Similarly, if anyone
competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown
unless he competes according to the rules. 6The hardworking
farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops.
7Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight
into all this."

Don't just take these things at surface level, there's a lot
behind this there's a lot underneath this and there's a lot that
we need to dig into so that practically we know how to apply
what he is talking about.
And with Verse 1, the problem is when it comes to pursuing God
if you do it on your own strength you will fail outright or you
will morally succeed; and birth pride and arrogance into your life
and not be any closer to the King by obeying Jesus.
We must understand where our strength comes from, it comes from
the gospel, it comes from God's grace.

specially in our shortcomings, Jesus paid our debt.
Let's go deep, let us learn to sustain ourselves not of our own
accord but through faith that God will provide. Let us remember
that we are rich for a reason; to give. Let us remember
1 Corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever
you do, do all to the Glory of God."

At War With Ourselves.

2009-01-07T00:52:00.000-08:00

"From one wounded warrior to another: stand in the grace we
have come to cling to, no longer out of theological commitment,
but raw necessity."

Simple.

2009-01-02T11:30:00.000-08:00

Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good
rhythm depend on simplicity.

Less is More in the Kingdom of Heaven.

2008-12-23T00:04:00.000-08:00

Again, I resound with the heart of my friend Chad whom
is also a spiritual leader in my life, founding Come
and Live and offering the overflow of his heart to me
and many many others. This is an excerpt from his blog,
which you can find on my blogroll, followed by a few
thoughts of my own.

"They should not matter, these small things I crave.
Make me forget them, Father, and be brave!"

- The Transient by Helen Welshimer

I'll pose the question: if the greatest example of generosity
relied fully on His father to provide for his every need (even
when it seems He went without), how dare we expect a life of
comfort & plenty? In a world loaded up with selfishness and greed,
God help us to live generously!

Everyday it seems I'm challenged by God and reminded to live
with less and to expect less and feed on the nourishment of which
only he can provide. I've found, at a young age no less, that
the more we, as a people, begin to take matters into our own hands
it disables us from trusting in the Lord the way we were meant to
all along. You cannot hold when your hands are full, and I would
venture to encourage us to pass the cup as was intended of us; of
our own accord we can do nothing, and a part from Yahweh we are
nothing.
He made him who knew no sin, to be sin on our behalf that we might
become the righteousness of God. I suppose my challenge to anyone
reading and myself is that we would break down the walls of our
culture and what we are accustomed to, so that we may see that we
are too comfortable here. Giving of your finances is a tremendous
sacrifice, but are your hands and feet dirty like Jesus? Giving
of your time is a tremendous sacrifice, but have you dedicated your
life to humility as a vessel for Christ? To go wherever he leads
you? We are too comfortable here my friends! Should you think
differently, I would respectfully presume it is obvious where your
treasure lies.

The martyrdom of our Kingdom takes place in this world EVERYDAY!
And we not turn an ear to it! The church of China is raising up
100,000 strong to enter into the most deadly region of this world
to bring the gospel of Jesus Christ our Lord to where the gospel
itself originated! What will you give my friends? If your hands
are not dirty, if your feet are not blistered, and if you've not
bled for the work of our God and his Kingdom, then I come to you
in love - give more of yourself.

Let our martyred Iranian brother Mehdi Dibaj, and his confession
at the end of his 10 year death sentence, before an Islamic judge
who called him to renounce Christ, speak to our hearts and help
put into perspective of what it truly means to sacrifice.

"My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!"

Write The Vision. Make It Clear.

2008-12-22T00:50:00.000-08:00

I've recently been reading Timothy and the beauty in the text
of Timothy is outstanding. Its truth has practically left
me on my back rather than my feet at times. However today
I'm brought to Proverbs and verse by verse, it just seems
to fly off the pages and grab at my heart. I've been asking
God for specific things as of late, and one of those things
has been a clear vision for Sons of God. I believe everyday
God is revealing new things for me to explore and he has
been bringing me to specific areas of which he's communicated
to me, in his Word, are his heart.

He's made it clear to me that he wants us to be the voice for
the disenfranchised, impoverished, enslaved, hungry, hurting,
and the persecuted (Proverbs 31:8-9)which I firmly believe
he is about to bring upon us; what more could we do than to
be the voice of those whom not have one?
It is also my/our desire to partner with organizations whose
aim are consistent with the desires placed upon us from our
God. Organizations including The Voice of The Martyrs, The
International Justice Mission, Invisible Children, Compassion
International, The Institute for Christian Resources, and
Christian Solidarity Worldwide among others.

It's clear to me that in our goal to reach people, with the
exposure we may encounter and in our specific outreach design
(Luke 10:2) as missionaries it would benefit us to have less
and give more(Proverbs 30:8-9)(Deuteronomy 15:11). As Jesus
Followers, Christians, or whatever satisfies the heart that
knows we long to be like Jesus, we are simply obeying his
call and guide to us to go unto all Nations and preach the
gospel. The opportunity before us allows us the reality
to become rich, and also famous; rich in knowledge, love,
strength, wisdom, sacrifice, humility and fame to our King,
Hallalujah!

I long to educate the West about Christianity worldwide, the
witness of our brothers and sisters worldwide could have a
profound effect on the Western church. For example, the church
in China is flourishing now with millions of believers, and
sources estimate that on average 24,000 people accept Jesus
Christ every day! It would do some good to remind you all, this
is a Communist nation where Christianity and our practices are
outlawed; the church is underground, in a house group church
format! China is not resting, sending 100,000 missionaries
to the Middle East. To that I say amen, but I also count and know
the struggle they will undergo. I can only imagine in an area
like the middle east where the gospel is refuted as the ultimate
enemy verses Islam, many people will be entering a situation that
they know will be a one way journey.
My hearts leaps for them, that I may join them in the future and
wash the feet of many who have served this kingdom.

I'm so proud and honored to be a part of such a wonderful
revolution in partnering with Come and Live.
(Hebrews 12:1-3)

"In order to reach those that no one else is reaching, we’ll
have to do things that no one else is doing."

Rise Up.

2008-12-16T09:41:00.001-08:00

Rise up oh men of God, have done with lesser things.
Give heart and soul and mind and strength to serve the King of Kings.
Rise up oh men of God, His kingdom tarries long.
Bring in the day of brotherhood, and end the night of wrong.
Rise up oh men of God, the church for you doth wait.
Her strength unequal to her task, rise up and make her great.
Lift high the Cross of Christ, tread where His feet have trod.
As brothers of the Son of Man, rise up men of God.
- William P. Merrill

Pardon The Interruption.

2008-12-10T01:49:00.000-08:00

I will wake up, with the Grace of God exploited all around
me and within me. My first step is simply one further away
from what I should be seeking. Instead I will begin the
christian compartmentalized path, and I will not seek him
in solitude; rather I will try to find him in the midst of
my busy day where anything but holiness is manifested.
And you expect me to grow!? How dare you! This is apathy,
this is the practice of cheap grace, this is the indulgence
of my self-esteem and far from who I am/should be in Christ.

Pardon The Interruption, when night falls.
"I will exploit you for all that you are, because behind
closed doors you are a worthless sinner," he says to me.
And, I let him win.
It would do some good to remember that, I am a sinner,
beforehand; as if to believe he's throwing a wrench in the
system or something along those lines. So, Pardon The
Interruption as your onslaught of temptation buries me in
my weakness. The beast is out for his prey, and he knows
that deep into the night, I am alone when I have not called
upon my God.

When the word is not fresh on my heart, and prayer is not
fresh from my mind. When I have summoned subconsciously
evil rather than the legions of angels spoken of in
Revelation. How foolish and selfish, you may be provoked
but you are not helpless! Stand firm in who you are in
Christ, and rise up against evil; have you not the boldness
to cast away fear, doubt, and temptation!?
Woe is the man who built his house on sand, for I have
found my house drifting out to sea and far from Galilee.
All the while I've not let down my anchor.
What good is an anchor if it has not left the boat?

God, would you be my anchor?
I am truly nothing without you.
Pardon The Interruption.
"I am God, and you are not."
Come and Live!

Dirty Hands.

2008-11-21T00:02:00.000-08:00

I am echoing a friend and mentor of mine with this post.
It comes following a past couple of weeks of realizing these
things but the perspective in this post really convict me
deep in my spirit, and give me true to desire to actually
do something. I've felt many different ways about the church
in the past few years, and I've come to truly love it. But
there are holes in the "system," and there are flaws just as
I'm sure God knew there would be. But, within the imperfection
and mess ups, there is ALWAYS a way to be Christ. The following
words will put it into perspective.
Thank you to Chad and Mark.

"This week I saw a news article on CNN.com and headline read "Catholic Church calls For Catholics to repent for voting for Obama." I was so blown away by this. Repent for voting? How confused are we as a body of believers that we really feel as though our vote is so important that it has eternal consequence tied to it? Every Presidential election to which I have paid any attention has consisted of candidates who have campaigned on the back of "moral topics." For Example: How many decades will the republicans campaign against abortion and the democrats campaign for it? How many decades will nothing change?

All of this has made me think about whether or not we really think that voting is all we have to do as believers? The church is obviously saying that there are eternal implications tied to our vote and we all become moral activists when it comes to voting. How does this happen? Do we, as the body of Christ, really believe that our vote is the end all, be all, expression of our allegiance to Jesus? My pastor phrased it in a much more convicting way this past Sunday. He said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "an overwhelming amount of Christians will vote for a republican because said candidate opposes Abortion. But how many of those voting Christians would actually do more than just talk, vote, etc and actually do something about it?" It's really easy to vote for the guy that opposes abortion and it's really easy to protest outside of abortion clinics but what if we all gave those girls considering an abortion an option? What if we said "I hate abortion, and I hate that you are in this position, don't kill your baby, I'll adopt it."

You see, I don't think that Christians are really willing to get their hands dirty. I think we all talk a GREAT talk but we definitely don't walk that walk and we DEFINITELY do not take that cross with us. I'm one of them! Shane Claiborne said it best in his book "Irresistible Revolution" when talking about the wealthy in America. He said that most wealthy Christian people don't know how to help the poor. They don't understand poverty. They definitely do not want to get in the trenches and tear down walls and make connections and invest in the poor and destitute and this is why we have The Salvation Army and Goodwill and Soup Kitchens, Shelters, etc. The wealthy can write a check, send some clothes and food and that is ample care. Shane then goes on to say that when we get to heaven, he doesn't imagine Jesus will say, "when I was hungry, you gave food to the pantry to feed me. When I needed clothes, you sent them to the salvation army so they could clothe me. When I need a place to sleep you wrote a check to the local shelter so they could house me."

So how do we live intentionally? I think abortion is murder, but will I adopt a child? I think poverty, homelessness, starvation, etc are all atrocities but will I commit to redistributing wealth, will I live simply, will I open my home to house someone? Will I invest in another life and make sure their most basic needs are met? It's a tough thing picking up my cross. In fact, most days I would like to leave it in the garage. So how do we do it? I want to start doing it."

I Want To Write.

2008-11-11T22:24:00.000-08:00

To you, but I've no idea who you are.
My desire to pick you up when you fall.
To put my arms around you when you are weak.
A hand for you to hold, and a heart for you to have.
I look ahead to the wonderful things you will do.
And how proud I am of you & that I somehow contributed.
Simply by encouraging you; I suspect you're more
than capable of doing great things of your own accord.

But I'm also proud of the man you will help me become.
I'm aware that marriage is an opportunity to extend our
love to another, and for a man it is to treat our bride
just as our God treats his Bride; his beautiful church.
I can only hope to maintain an attitude and lifestyle
of selflessness through in my years to come.

Let it not be the beauty of an exterior, but her heart
that beats for Christ. If the eyes are aligned with the
heart, beauty will then be defined as far more than curves
and bone structure. I long for the days ahead, but am
thankful even so for this time of growth to help me
become the husband, father, and son I need to be.
I've asked asked of my father, for the heart of my saviour.
For the eyes of my saviour.
The compassion, the love, his generosity, tenacity, wisdom
as well as the many many qualities he possessed.

In one of the latest podcasts from Matt Chandler that I've
listened to, he is teaching to us men about the biblical
standards we are called to. It has become a great desire
and life fulfillment to be those things someday.
God knows my heart, he knows the desires and the things I'm
most passionate about. He has given me a zeal for the life
that I'd lost for sometime, and I'm honored that he would
use me to reach people and give me the ability to create.
The opportunities before me have come at no coincidence
following an important decision I felt very led to make
from him.
I cannot wait to see what comes about from the things he's
placed before me, and the people that I will get to know
because of them. And assuredly, one day, I'm sure she will
come along within the midst of all he's got planned.

He is in control.
Less of me and more of you God.

It Takes A Thief.

2008-11-04T01:46:00.000-08:00

You can leave if you want
It's not that hard
I'll make it easy for you baby.
You can leave if you want
However you'd like
Just make sure to do it safely.

Oh, you don't love me anymore
And I don't blame you love
It happened once before.
Oh, you don't need me by your side.
Not since I left your love
Like a thief in the night.

Find me a pen
To write on your skin
So I can always be with you.
It never rains
If you don't give in
So I've turned in to misuse.

Awesome (god)cast.

2008-11-01T02:09:00.000-07:00

I owe a great debt to my good friend Mike Havens at
Boulevard Christian Church, I have found a gem of
a podcast from a church I actually used to attend from
my Dalls, TX days. The church is The Village Church in
Highland,TX - The Pastor is Matt Chandler. I think one
of the reasons I love this particular podcast so much
is because I think, if I were to be a preacher I would
probably do it just like that.
I find myself laughing, loving, and truly engaging in
these sermons Matt has to offer. I hope many of you begin
to share similar podcasts/resources with me as well as
I am always looking for more insight and guidance within
my growth in Christ.

One thing Mike pointed out to me in one of our recent
meetings was how we are basically saved, and right now
we are in the season of being sanctified for his glory.
This was a subconscious breakthrough, reason being that
I'm notorious for beating myself up over sin. I feel
there is a standard that I need to meet for my God, and
when I fail to meet that standard I am asahmed; rather
I should be embracing God's grace and not abusing it.

Deitrich Bonhoeffer puts it simply as "cheap grace." In
his amazing book, The Cost of Discipleship he explains
that simply. I don't wanna give it all away, so I highly
recommend this book to anyone that is seriously struggling
with sin and how to deal with it. He's a modern day saint
who was martyred during the Nazi era in Germany. This
book gives an example (like the bible of course) of a man
who's pursuit for holiness is untamed and relentless.
You can find a link to the book on my menu to the right
of the entry.

And last but not least, the podcast.
Follow this link, and enjoy.
http://www.thevillagechurch.net/podcast/index.html

Seek Jesus.

Is It Okay?

2008-10-26T02:49:00.000-07:00

Is it okay to, I just don't know what to do? I feel so lost in so many areas of my life. Feeling like I'm going to let this person or that person down; even though it's for the best. I'm not really good with my back up against a wall, but I have a suspicion my God is trying to get to me, and I'm not listening. I may be, "listening," but a great deal of listening, is doing.

I am alive, but dead.
I am trying, but not hard enough.
I am seeking, though I am wandering.
I am beaten, only by myself.
I am treasonous, not intentionally.
I am wrong, but I know what is right.
I am not Jesus, though I want to be.
I am a sinner, I am sick of it.
I long for peace, but my actions say different.
I long for love, but I am nothing but selfish.

I would prefer more at this point it all be taken away, if it meant I would know God more. I would rather it all be gone, if I knew I could be with my God. I would give up this world in an instance because I know just how strange I am to it. These are dangerous things to say, but if I go to sleep tonight and never wake up, I can't tell you with truth that my God would know me. Often times, I go to bed wondering or thinking, I will change, and I will can do this. Rarely I sit and ask the spirit to change me, rather I spend most of it confessing.

This is where I suppose it would all be left. I cannot stand another minute of being another cookie cutter christian that HOPES he can make a change not only to the world, but first within himself. My heart won't beat forever, and mark my words, until it stops, I will make every effort to see to it that my identity is firmly rooted in Christ, and that I would never be ashamed of saying it or sharing it.
I am tired of this cheap grace mentality, this
compartmentalized living, and this audacious
transgressive lifestyle; Art Matheny best
described it as, "flipping God off."
Imagine, every time you sin, you stand before
your saviour looking him right in the eyes, and
you shout, "fuck you!"

That's what I/we/you are doing, every time!
No more. No more!
I am not what you would call a "turn or burn" ideological person, but it's very very real. And more so, our God desires our hearts; he desires the hearts of those around us that we know are so lost. Our co-workers, friends, family,strangers, etc... they need Christ just as bad as you and I do. My prayer right now is not only one of a change of heart within my heart and your convictions within this, but a prayer of a broken relationship with the Western Culture apathetic church mindset.

Micah Boyce. Centuries of Knowledge Mistake for Omniscience.
We are small
But we tower
Built up for years
With bricks of wisdom and comprehension
Look at how well
We've done for ourselves

We are frail
But we're solid
Down to the bone
But I don't feel him in my bones

Oh no, these arms are reaching
Maybe their too stiff
Maybe their too thin
Oh no, these arms are reaching

Beneath Our Noble Heads
We contain the hearts of children
If only we could lose our head
And let the youth become our necks
'Cus it's a boldfaced lie
Ya we're all gonna die
'Cus we're just passing through time
No we don't have to die

I have dressed my head, with a solid crown
Steadfast like the rest
I was a tower in the city of God
I had a strong sense of what that meant
But I was still drenched
With liquor and lust
I found I was just afraid of death
So if my words are few
I smell of the devil
And according to the rules
I'm a damned fool
And I'll probably catch flack for saying so too

The Ultimate Justification.

2008-10-22T14:30:00.000-07:00

I've struggled with many things over the years, just like
anyone I would assume has struggles. As a christian I
believe we are almost subconsciously taught to depress or
ignore the temptation and it will go away. I'm not saying
everyone has this approach, but I agree with Mark Driscoll
when he says "there is a propensity in many churches to
take sexuality out of the hands of theologians and place
it in the hands of secular counselors."

I'm not so sure it stops there, with just sexuality. I
also agree as he goes on to say that there is an
"effeminate nature" and "a timidity among weak pastors
to wade into controversial issues in general." Now my goal
here is not to scowl upon our leaders; I for one just
believe we need to step it up. Especially with the
state of our world; where debauchery, apathy, and self
indulgence has become the status quo, even among
christians! I should know, I'm not a great deal different.

And there's a "but." The but being, I don't like it, I
want to change, and I'm implementing change. My desire
within my change is to empower, teach, and help change
others with that same desire. And one major tool we use
is justification, and this, I think sums up the proverbial
"why."

Romans 1:18-24
18 For kthe wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 19 For what can be mknown about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 20 For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves,

This Was An Amazing Find.

2008-10-19T02:18:00.000-07:00

If I had just ONE dream come true, it would be one within
many. ONE being that I wrote a song equal to Bohemian
Rhapsody, which in my opinion is the best song ever
written by any group in all the history of music.

So of course, being a huge QUEEN fan, this is wonderful.
I have "The Making of A Night At The Opera" but this offers
a greater depth. It's quite lengthy, but it's totally worth
your time.

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 1

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 2

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 3

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 4

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 5

The Story of Bohemian Rhapsody Part 6

Wishlist.

2008-10-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

- Moleskine Weekly Notebook
- A big work desk
- Monitor Stands
- 22" Acer LCD Monitor
- Apple MacPro
- Apple MacBook Pro
- Apple Iphone

Books:
- Culture Making: Recovering Our Creative Calling
- IdeaSpotting: How to Find Your Next Great Idea
- Sound Systems: Design and Optimization: Modern Techniques
and Tools for Sound System Design and Alignment
- The Dream Giver

In other news:
I've been pondering a lot of things recently, one of
them being my future and making certain decisions.
I find a great passion of mine is to bring media to the
church in a quality way, done with excellence, all forms
of media; it's just a HUGE passion of mine.
So one of the many contemplated areas has been to
go further what I already know of production, I'm pretty
decent with the knowledge and resources I have right
now but I really want to take it a step further.
So, we shall see what comes in the coming weeks but
my best guess will be a school will be calling my name
and I may just head that way.

As for Sons, we are on a brief hiatus with our future
really being undetermined at the present moment, but
I still would love to do a record and see where this
could go. So, I'll be praying diligently about those things.

Lastly, I found this to be interesting.
The 100 Largest Churches in the U.S.

P.S. Please don't vote based on your biased beliefs.
Rather, how about on what this country really needs.
Do that.

The Amenities.

2008-09-29T16:48:00.000-07:00

"I would rather go on living this life knowing I will
reach eternity in heaven with my father, than live
a life here with all the amenities."

If you're eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.
If you're hand causes you to sin, cut it off.

Steeple Chased Needle.

2008-09-23T00:18:00.001-07:00

I killed the dreams
of a loved one it seems
I would kill to mend
the two together again
Like a needle in an arm
I pulled the plug to disembark
Letting memories haunt
me in my dreams

But could I have cared more
Should I have dared more
For the sake of loving you
My heart knows the beating
This is God's way of treating
A young girls soul and its wound
I should have been more careful with you.

Hammering home
all the good ones we know
Searching for just
one piece from your room
You count for more
than my years can count for
You must know what
I've gotten into

But could I have cared more
Should I have dared more
For the sake of loving you
My heart knows the beating
This is God's way of treating
A young girls soul and its wound
I will have to be more careful with you.

The calendar year, hangs amidst the veneer
With your sunglasses that don't fit your face
I failed to appear, where you seemed to have steered
Now your mirror is held on by tape
She was special, and my biggest mistake
The mistake was letting go, I could wait

But could I have cared more
Should I have dared more
For the sake of loving you
My heart knows the beating
This is God's way of treating
A young girls soul and its wound
I should have been more careful with you.

My Mind Is Better Off A Part From Yours.

2008-09-22T19:05:00.001-07:00

But it will stay that way.

The weight of a burden like this can only exist
Inside one mind, a part from yours, pain will persist.
My songs can't keep company the way that you did.
I am punished by my own words, for the poor selfishness.
The world is your empire, my minds eye sees you free.
Ruling carefully with joy, still hoping the best for me.
The past's present failure of a man's slow demise.
Losing one queen he swore to keep near in time.
Time, my deluge, you are the habit of the.
I cannot speak freely, though it is your counsel I seek.
Memoirs serve correctly, the rebuttal of my means
My means for your safety, and your heart I'd retrieve.
It is death of a salesman, it is I standing by.
I seemed to have sold you, but got lost in my lies.
It is heresy I do call, for my reckoning I swear.
Though the love in the deep, will carry me to despair.
My dynamo of sorrow, you deserve much much more.
Than a man and his aching, I would only burden you sore.
Mounts of truth they will save me, as they have presently.
My word turned into daggers, as they cut viciously.
I do warn whom I pity, for an alleged remark.
Believed to be the razor, I sank deep into your heart.
It is I who am fooled, it is I in despair.
For believing in justice, in a city that's rare.
Still my screen shows me days, that are better than ones here.
With those, my heart lingers, upon the day that you are near.

Irregular Citing.

2008-09-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

I am currently waging war with the mind
and befriending it at the same time.
Spiritually, I am in a season of what some
would be considered a drought; self-produced
but a drought nonetheless.

My apathy and displaced searching has led
me to the point that I have reached today.
I can honestly say, my desire to seek and be
with God has not gone away, however many
obstacles have come about that I allow to
catch my attention long enough which enables
me to forget.

Well, let the war begin.
The first article comes from John Wesley
and it's about self-motivation.
"The mind distorts reality to confirm what it wants to believe. The more negatively you think, the more examples your mind will discover to confirm that belief. When you truly believe that you deserve success, your mind will generate ways to achieve it. The best way to bring success to yourself is to genuinely desire to create value for the rest of the world."

And though it may be off topic, I've always found
business models to be a way of personal growth
for myself. This second article, though rather
lengthy is still a GREAT read, and it pretty much
sums up what I believe. I attribute much of my
fear to my family somewhat, and it's not that they
don't believe in me or openly are out to destroy
my ideas or dreams. I'll tell you, rather I believe
it's their inability to integrate my thinking with
theirs; some may call this the lack of being
"open-minded."

An example being, I personally don't have much
of what it takes to stomach anything that would
be labeled cheesy, unprofessional, cheap, etc.
When I make these points public, it's like I'm crucified
because "there's nothing wrong with that..." and let
the comments begin. I never said there was anything
wrong with it, I just happen to think there is an
alternative that is better; what's so wrong with that?
I believe we are to be great, and if it's not great, then
you're either learning or you settled.

So, this is where my thinking comes into play I
suppose. It creates this invisible boundary for me
because, someone else just doesn't have the
willingness to understand my ideal though I bow
to their necessity of thinking the "well they tried"
mentality is justifiable.
"Velocity is your ability to zig and zag and zoom -- to make significant changes when significant changes are necessary. And you can have velocity without speed: Driving around in circles may make your speedometer look impressive, but it won't get you across the country very fast."
fastcompany.com

Last but not least, a wonderful speech at the
2005 Stanford Commencement from
Founder and CEO of Apple, Steve Jobs.
One of my modern day heroes.

Favorite Things at the Moment.

2008-09-07T23:47:00.000-07:00

- John Mayer "Where The Light Is" DVD
- Underoath "Lost In The Sound of Separation"
* including the making of DVD
- Twitter
- Zaxby's *Kickin' Chicken Sandwich* Oh I will miss you
- Woodworking and Renovation
- Spending time with Jordyn
- Getting ready to move (not really)
* but I am looking forward to it
- NOT T-mobile
- Sectional Couches
- SimulAnalog Guitar Suite
- Blogging. As you can see.
- Blues licks on the guitar
- Finding my monitor iso pads
- Fixing my monitor woofer's dustcap after a
little fella decided to press it in.
- Not having a job (again, not really)
- Looking for a house to rent
- I.C.R. DVD "How To Read and Interpret The Bible"
- Handbrake
- Amp Searching
- Looking for a Van/Bus and Trailer
- Planning our photo and video shoots
- Wikipedia

Our Deepest Fear.

2008-09-05T10:26:00.000-07:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

It's not a fickle encounter of an imaginative spirit or mind
that draws me to the places I want to go, to be around
the people I most cherish, or the things that enjoy my
company almost as much I enjoy them. Rather, the life
breathed into me when I was created, it's who I am; it's
just, in me. My mind is what will either get me there, or
stop me from even going. Often times I theorize things
and one that I've come to believe as hypothesized truth
is that, our imagination and our mind can be so distant
from one another at times. Often, our imagination
creates wonderful scenarios of things that we believe
in and want to do so badly.

Our mind, has a tendency to rationalize and kill our
imagination, as if to slap it on the wrist like a mother
would and say, "you should know better by now, you
can't do that. You'll hurt yourself, and I know it seems
fun and exciting, but you have to be realistic."

My word to the mind is just like a child's reassuring
words to her, "everything will be fine, but
more than anything, I need you to believe in me
and support me along the way; not try and kill my
dream. Dream with me, with you in this with me
it only makes me stronger."

God, I ask that our hearts be pure when we come
before you. I pray that we as a church, and as people
would continue to dream, and not let our minds
suppress the amazing possibilities that you have
placed in us. I pray that we would focus on you and
you alone, in doing so, I ask that you would
manifest and work through us to make our dreams
a reality, and to make your name famous.
You are God, and you are good Father. If we could
only be more like Jesus, how beautiful this world
would be. I thank you, for all that you do and all
that you are going to do.

Let us reach a world of people that desperately
needs God. Turn your deepest fear, into the longing
of something very real, and act.

He Is Still Our Healer. Put Down Your Stones.

2008-08-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

Gal 6:1
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Some of you may have seen a video I posted a couple
of weeks ago about a song called "Healer" performed
by Hillsong United and writer Mike Guglielmucci.
The song itself, is a beautifully written song that
cries out to God "I believe, you're my healer."
I recall seeing the video, or links, on my friends
blogs talking about how they believed this song
was a wonderfully divine gift from God that is
being used in an enormous was.

Mike wrote the song about his 2 year long battle
with cancer, stating in the video about how when
he found out he immediately went home, sat behind
a piano, and starting worshipping and it was right
there the song was written beginning to end.
I don't want to make this into a big deal, as
many others seem to be doing right now. With
that being said, for those of you whom do not
know yet, Mike has confessed to his story being
fraudulent.

I wont go into details, but for those of you
wishing to seek further truth about the situation
you can read the story here.
For those of you whom desire to read his official
statement click here.

When I read it, it did not shock me or anger
me; rather, it reminded me of how human we all
really are. It also does not surprise me
because Satan is vicious, and whether or not
he is using his addiction to pornography as
a crutch I do not know but I know how Satan
works. People often wonder why men in churches,
maybe even a figure in the church i.e. a pastor
or an influential evangelist, why these men
they fall so hard sometimes. I do not believe
it is weakness or strength alone that can save
us or condemn us, rather something far greater
is at work in which we can not see.

There is a spiritual realm that encompasses
us everyday, if we could only see! Satan goes
after those whom are the greatest threat to
him and his cause. This is why I believe it's
so important to remember that though these
people may fall, the strength it has taken
to be honest when you know you've done
something horrible is nothing short of a
miracle. With that, I can only ask this, do
not point your finger. Do not think for a
second you are good enough to throw stones
at this man when you've got sins of your
own to deal with.

I must admit, when I read this story I thought to
myself, how am I much different?
I write songs, and write words to praise my God
and the high heavens, and sometimes I do it fully
immersed in sin; so how am I different?

The answer is, I am not.
The difference is, I haven't had far to fall yet.

And the beauty of it all, throughout this
entire story is this.
God is still our Healer.

Leaders Anonymous.

2008-08-03T14:01:00.000-07:00

Taken from Ben Arment of Catalyst.
Neutered By The Church
It's no wonder there are more and more high-caliber leaders who
aren't serving in the church. Many of them are the best in the world
at what they do, but they've essentially been neutered by the church.
No one is telling them "We need what only you can do." No one is
coming after them. Church leaders aren't stepping aside to accommodate them.

And that's a shame.

Attracting High-Capacity Leaders
"High capacity leaders want to be invited to serve. It's not a pride-thing;
they just don't know where to plug-in. So we invited 10 of them to a
breakfast at the Marriott Hotel. We reserved a private dining room,
wore our suits, prepared a formal presentation on Power Point and in
print, and cast big vision to them. In essence... we spoke their language.

I can't tell you how much that meeting impacted our church. These
leaders felt included. They bought-in. And it wasn't about giving
them special treatment - they were the marginalized members
of our community.
It was about laying down our pride to let gifted leaders lead."

The Stuff Legends Are Made Of
"Church planters are notorious for thinking that a great dream + hard work
+ insight = a thriving church. But church planters fail all the time with
this formula.

What's missing is spiritual fertility. Every area has an established
degree of receptivity to the Gospel, which can make or break a
chruch plant before it ever gets off the ground. I'm not saying
we shouldn't plant churches in difficult areas. I'm saying that in
these cases, we should change our primary activity from planting
an organization to cultivating relationships."

Attracting High-Caliber Leaders To Your Church
1. Have big vision. Leaders are too busy for small vision.
The greeter ministry might have a need, but think about their
sense of significance. Does the church's activity feel like kindergarten
to them?

2. Help them know where to start. Many leaders don't know
where to step in. The church feels uber spiritual with no practical
footholds for involvement. We have to tell them how and why they're
needed.

3. Create leadership roles that don't require spiritual qualifications.
A lot of ministry doesn't require the pope's sign-off. If they're not
Bible scholars, don't write them off. You need help with marketing
strategies, development issues, church systems. You need help in
areas you don't know you need help in. Let them poke around.

4. Don't be intimidated. They're not going to commandeer
the church from you. They'll be more sensitive to your spiritual
leadership than you realize. They'll come behind you and support you.

5. Make the ask. A leader wants to be asked.
Pastors assume they're too busy to help. But they're like the pretty
girl in high school no one asks to the dance because everyone
assumes she's got a date.

6. Hang out, but don't have meetings. Leaders abhor meetings.
They have too many of them. Plus, they're used to driving them.
And much better than we are. We like meetings because they
make us feel productive. But these folks don't want to spend
weekends theorizing.

My Challenge.

2008-08-01T11:36:00.000-07:00

This is my challenge to my brothers and sisters.
You whom call yourself "christian."

The first challenge is simple.
- Pray.
Now let me get specific here.
START PRAYING! About every single thing that even
comes to mind. More specifically, pray for our
Presidential Candidates. We can sit around and scrutinize
their character for days, but how about we start
praying for them. For you conservatives out there,
yes that even means pray for Obama.
Pray for the church worldwide, many of you haven't
a clue what goes on around the world and what
christians go through everyday. The persecution that
many of our brothers and sisters face everyday, and
how many of them die on a daily basis.

A highly recommended read on the subject.
Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire.

Which leads me to my second challenge.
- Stop taking christianity for granted.
Us Western Culture Christians have begun to take for
granted the freedoms that we have in our nation. This
in my mind, is a travesty, and complete disrespect
towards our christian fellows worldwide who are
paying a grave price to do what we take for granted.
So the next time you think about how late your
service will go, how you don't like the music, how
you don't like the message, it's too loud, there's not
enough people... Whatever the case may be, get over
yourself. Start praising him for all that he is, and
ask him to give us a burden for our fellow
christians throughout the world, and thank him for
them, for having faith we so greatly desire.

And thirdly.
- Seek and Discover what it truly means to be a christian.
So many times, I witness christians looking little like
Christ; to this day that, to me, has been one of the
biggest misses in all of western culture christianity.
Christian is defined, as "little christ." Think about
what Christ stood for, how he was bold, he didn't
waver from the truth for the sake of anyone, he
stood his ground, he studied, he pushed people's
buttons, he didn't wear dress shirts, he broke down
barriers, he pushed the envelope.
So come on church, why don't you look like Jesus
to me!? Aaron, why don't you look like Jesus
to other people!?

Pray for each other church.
Dig deeper into the great unknown.
And be willing to say yes and get uncomfortable.
My heart beats for this church, the church, the
bride itself. It is my desire to help the church grow
with whatever means given us.

Start digging church, start digging.

I'm Addicted To Media. The Good Kind.

2008-07-31T22:47:00.001-07:00

Here's some awesome stuff I've been finding online.
Some of it's random, some of it actually has to do
with some research I've been doing for our church.
Things worth posting about:
- Facebook has a new layout; it's nifty

- I updated my blog, obviously. With TONS o
resources and blogs as an addition.

- Still would like an Iphone.

- Need to learn how to start using "bullets"
or something when I type.

- Trying to get things in order for Ignite to start
getting Audio Equipment and utilizing the ol
Planning Center.

- Blogging is becoming my favorite new hobby

- I (should) am starting a new job with Christ In Youth
come September as an Audio Systems Technician
for the CIY Believe Conferences.
Dates can be found here.
Here is a video of the kind of stuff we'll be doin.

My friend John Reuben in his TV Pilot.
I literally laughed through this entire video.

Make us one.

One of the most beautiful, genuine, heartfelt songs I've
ever heard from The Church.
Healer.

Manchester in HD, this is gorgeous.

Manchester Orchestra "I can barely breathe" from clay lipsky on Vimeo.

The Genesis.

2008-07-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

The coming into being something.
Originally for Sons of God I had dreamt up this idea.
In an interview I'd done, I recalled being asked, "what does
art mean for you?" to which I replied, "Art is the freedom from
fear, I believe it's an inhibition of anything that would otherwise
hold you back." Well, that being said, Art Is The Freedom From
Fear , to me, seemed like the perfect title for a record. My mind
has since wandered from that feeling, and I'm caught in a
moment between feeling like I've been doing this forever and
never doing it.

Henceforth, comes Genesis.
Sons of God is experiencing its Genesis; and myself too.
One of the things I love most about writing music is I get
to let you in a little. The problem is, I have yet to represent
myself the way I really desire too. In a sense, I feel as though I've
been lying; not like I'm a liar, rather my music has been misleading.
It's not near where my heart is, and that is a whole lot of what
brought me to the idea of, "Genesis."

This is our/my Genesis; this is our clean slate. Whether it be in
front of God or in front of the world, it's still happening. Along
with this Genesis, there will surely be a revelation. I can't go into
depth about them, simply because, it's all just now beginning. I
don't know what to do at this point, my career is bogged down with
all the acts that I've "been with," and quite frankly I'm tired of
speaking of success in terms of the past; I desire for it to be present.

How bad do I/We want it? How much do I really want everyone in
the world to get inside my head, how much? I think it's wise to
believe, that getting something, is simply a matter of how bad
you really want it.
And I want it bad.

The Church Today. The Church Yesterday.

2008-07-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

There is a lot to be said (in my mind) about the "church."
Now that wasn't so bad was it? Talking about the "church."
But, why the parenthesis Aaron? Well, Ill tell you why.
Because, the "church" has become a building, and not a body
to so many people. And honestly, it seems that way for America
more than it does any other society. The reasons are far too
obvious, and another fact is, it seems that way to more non-chrisitians
Than it does for people whom actually are, what you would
know today as a christian.

My heart has fallen from, loved, hated, ridiculed, chastised, blamed,
slandered, and grown fond of the church over my last few years of,
"maturing" I suppose it would be called.
But I'm always lead back to one thing, and that is, that Jesus
LOVES his church. The GOD is head over heals in love with us.
If God loves us, which clearly we just covered that, then what do
you think he asks of us? What do you think he desires of us?
Why do you think he's given us strengths, and talents?

What befuddles me to this day is how quick christians are to say "no."
Is it me, or are we still living in a Paganistic society, that is more
interested in spoiling People's opportunity to be great and have a
good time doing it just to gain some kind of Holier Than Thou formula
that defying ideas and creativity will lead us to the heart of God?
Who came up with all this nonsense, seriously?

To this day, it perplexes me as to why Western Culture Christians care
more about attire than they do about their brothers and sisters suffering
throughout the world. We'd rather waste our time raising arguments
about "secular" things and forms of entertainment that we deem ungodly
than we would educating people on the martyrdom that exists today
within christianity, human trafficking, world hunger, destitution, and the
various other things that so many "christians" are missing. We're too busy
playing fashion police, and saying no to brilliant ideas because, well, because?

What happened to the church?
What happened to the idea of Jesus, his radical stand about what he
believed in? I mean, let's face it, the word christian does not strike me
or the public as something to take all that serious these days? That's
a shame, a terrible shame. When did the church lose it's backbone?
When did the church stand up against the crazy people that call
themselves christians yielding "God Hates Fags" signs? What in the
name of God is going on here people?

A place where words like worship, praise, and church have lost their
meaning. Where church has become a building, a place to go, to
chit chat with other "believers" and just, sit around comfortably within
the four walls. Where worship has become a time, a period, where we
hope we can feel something, and less about exalting the name of God.
Where praise is more self-centered than it is an external act of extolling
the name of Christ. We, yes We, I'm the church too; we need to get
our heads out of the sand.

Don't you realize how important this is, especially right now? What's
wrong with awesome displays that draw your attention in, that get
across a message so more eloquent than any spoken word could?
Tell me what's ungodly about that? What's wrong with beautiful music?
With volunteering your talents, and abilities to usher people into worship?
What's wrong with having a great sound system, that delivers a message
and music at high quality sound? Would you not rather have these things,
than to have technical glitches throughout your "service" distracting you
from the real purpose of the "church?"

Alright then, if you answered no, then please reevaluate what it means
to be a christian. Or, just get lost, because you already are. You've
completely missed the point of what it means to follow Jesus.

My desire, is to utilize art in every single way possible to bring an image
to the church that will captivate them. Be it worship, education, simple
presentation, or just FUN! Also, I am beginning work on a film project
that will most likely take years to develop. God has placed a desire in
my heart, to educate christians, of what is going on in the world around
them that is really not heard of, and certainly not viewable. Would you
please pray for me, and this project, that God would lead the right people
to this project, so that we can make this idea a reality.

I can't tell you how tired I am, of being a bench warming christian.
How tired I am of stalling my own ideas and creativity.
God is calling us to greatness, we'd better be meeting that call to the
best of our ability.
And a message to our ministers:
Stop preaching your opinions, rather than the word of God.
And stop caring about the things that are meaningless in God's eyes.
Its time to start being REAL christians.

Amen.

Retribution.

2008-07-16T22:18:00.000-07:00

Come to life, retribution's waiting at your doorstep;
But you didn't know.
Everyone's watching for the second coming of;
But you didn't know.

Come on down, let it fill you now.
We are all just part, of the plan.
Pleased to be, igniting generations yet to be.
But you'd better believe.
We knew it all along.

Crippled hands, grabbing for the stands to take them down;
But they didn't know
Lame, and Blind, the weak have come to shame the strong tonight.
But they didn't know.

Come on down, let it fill you now.
We are all just part, of the plan.
Pleased to be, igniting generations yet to be.
But you'd better believe.
We knew it all along.

Marks and beasts, while news perverts the truth and scares the free.
But you didn't know.
Lies and lust, access your favorite form of "generosity"
But you didn't know.

Come on down, let it fill you now.
We are all just part, of the plan.
Pleased to be, igniting generations yet to be.
But you'd better believe.
We knew it all along.

Failure Is A Verb. Or Lack thereof.

2008-07-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

Passive detaching has caused her to sway
Her arms are held out but for no one to stay
Rooms have held pity not like this before
Her suffering has caused great weight to the floor
Wood planks split melodiously in rhythm with hearts
The hearts that beat on while hers refuses to start
Characters drawn from the seeds they all sowed
While failure breathes heavy, she's carried life's load.

Don't you stop, I've got all life to spare.
I bore it with planks to my back rome made bare.
My lights can be seen from the lives I've assigned.
My dear, failure's a verb, or a flaw in design.

Lost Continents Inside Blankets

2008-06-11T15:41:00.001-07:00

If I weren't a kid I would play all day long
I'd run in the streets like my parents denied
If I was old and grown I would chalk streets for kings
Past dark cus my friends always could but I'd leave
Ya if I weren't a kid, I would do all these things
I would show them they're wrong, wrong about everything

I would stop building tents, and explore continents
And I wouldn't go to bed before ten
Oh if I weren't a kid, I would open the eyes
Of all the non believers and show them I tried

But please just let me, let me live.
I wanna go away for a day and be a kid.
I wanna scream when I should whisper
And get caught in the thistles
Without my mother demanding I behave
But ya see, my dear boy, it's too late

I'll get lost in romances
Start taking chances
Believe in the unbelievable
My brittle bones couldn't stop me
From being unordinary

Love Never Can Just Be Love.

2008-06-07T12:19:00.000-07:00

I'm spent, in this restless love like a dictatorship.
Qualms seem necessary to the human existence.
Passing through seems never enough.
And love never can just be love.

When did love turn into cryin?
I thought love meant always tryin.
If we wake up and decide to try.
Could it keep the tears from falling out your eyes?

If love were like a song.
We'd just give and take away.
Something would be better.
Perhaps if we both sang.

The Church. Faith. It's Time.

2008-05-08T20:16:00.000-07:00

For the last few years, I've been stirred in my heart about the "church." Are we like Jesus? Are we biblical? Do we interpret it at all? Or do we just read for what it is? Are we even being taught what is right, what Jesus would be teaching us? These are questions that have followed me for years now, and there are answers.

I am far from perfect; I am far from what would be considered Godly. And I've longed so much to be like Jesus, but "so much" isn't near enough. It's an interesting thing, to examine yourself and realize you don't truly belong to God. Yes, I am his child, but does he know me? If I stood before him, would he know my name? Would I reside in heaven with him for all of eternity?

Am I following him? Or am I fulfilling selfish desire after another and using grace as a ploy. We aren't teaching what's right! And we have so many christians fooled in America! This isn't right, what's going on? More people that are in church, that claim to be believers, don't even know what they believe! The church is so shallow and we are OK with it. Why? Why should we be complacent with ungodliness? We are a travesty of a church, and there must be a renewing of truth or else I'm afraid many many people that think they are heaven-bound and Jesus like, will find themselves before the throne of God and only then realizing that in fact, they never walked the narrow path.
My goal is not to bash the church, but to revive it. Burt first, God knows, I must be revived.

I have been dead for far too long now, and I have dragged too many down with me. In my selfish ambition I have disguised myself as someone who loves Jesus, rather, I am someone who loves to talk as if he truly knows Jesus. I can't say exactly why, but I can only assume it's because I wanted to believe that I did. So, do I blame the church?

Truthfully, yes I believe it has something to do with it.
So what then, what are we today?

Seek Jesus, Seek Holiness, Be truly Set A Part. Quit using grace as a crutch, chances are God's grace ran out miles ago. He bore it once and he will never bear it again. The weight of sin for the entire world was upon his shoulders! Why in the world would he gather more?

It's time, to truly be like Jesus and act as the church Jesus created us to be. To quit listening to selfish ambition and endeavor, humble ourselves, and follow God. No matter the cost!
For thine is the Kingdom, and The Power, and The Glory, forever and ever, AMEN!

The American Dream.

2008-04-26T19:48:00.001-07:00

The American Dream is starting to really irritate me. Now, I'm really not talking about success or doing everything we can to achieve certain goals. Think of it more as a metaphor, and more so along the lines of materialism. Maybe I'm just being unreasonable, but I think it's ridiculous to live being aware of the situations going on around the world , the injustices throughout, and responding with a deaf ear and a blind eye.

Especially as Christians, how ashamed we should feel to be so ignorant and careless about this. I know there are MANY MANY organizations focusing on these very things, also to educate and raise awareness about these things. But do we really need to be more aware? Or do we just need to take action? I'm disappointed in myself even to think of the apathy I've displayed towards these things I'm speaking of. These are God's children facing persecution, torture, blackmail, pain, slavery, broken families, and the list goes on.

Why are we not doing more? Why aren't we sacrificing more? Why have I done nothing for just one person? One beautiful soul that my God loves like a mother loves her child, that my God died for. I'm no better than them though I'm blessed, and what for? I believe we are blessed to bless others, but beyond blessing this is our duty. Right now, thousands of people are homeless, hurting, being mistreated, being used, being beaten, and dying; millions even! Are we not the hands and feet of Jesus? Then my God let's be them! Sometimes we need to leave the security, the freedom, and the comfortable lives we live to really see what other people are going through to fully realize how great of a need there is.

This irks me, it takes me back to materialism. Honestly, I have no intention of making anyone feel bad for having things or wanting things, but do we really NEED it all? I believe materialism to be the equivalent of sin, because in my eyes it shows a blatant disregard life; for other lives who could be benefiting from what I'm squandering away on something I don't need. I don't need more shoes, shirts, a new car, fast food... whatever it may be. It's our duty to love and care for people who are less fortunate than us, I guess what I'm trying to say is, do your part. So, do your part Aaron.

We Sang All Night

2008-04-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

Could it be that I dont like hearin you sing
You carefully, precisely, have mistaken me for everything
You wanted
Life it seems to hand you material dreams
But your heart knew all along the melodies
So you'd sing and I grew to love it

You'd persuade me, to sing along in key
I'd be lost but you'd keep singin on, just to sing
The notes would come by ear and they all listened and they'd cheer
We finally found it, now let's sound it out

We sang all night and we never missed a tune
We all got everyone from me to you
We had it all figured out so then we sang along

I say...

2008-04-18T20:53:00.000-07:00

"I say the future needs artists who are called to the church who love the church and who are in churches who know how to love and lead them."

I say, we appreciate people in the church that give their time to serve, and stop treating them like it's their obligation; as if, life and limb are on the line. Jesus was a man of grace, and I know that volunteering/serving in the church is a commitment, but don't you think that showing how much you appreciate them rather than chastising them and ruling over them with an iron fist would benefit not only you but your services and proactivity?

It does not create an enviroment that can be enjoyed, or spirit-filled. The heart of a servant is something to be sought after, yes you may be getting paid to "minister" in your church, but that does not give you the right to rule rather than to serve. To lead is literally defined "to go before or with to show the way; conduct or escort." We are to be like Jesus, it is the very root of what a christian is, and we should humble ourselves enough to show grace to those who make mistakes, or may seem unwilling at times.

YOU are to SERVE, a paycheck doesn't change that; and no title can change that. MATTHEW says "34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh"

No longer should we use our tounges as a sword, rather, be like Jesus and let the abundance of our heart speak grace and love. A man can have many things, faith, wisdom, obedience; but if a man does not love, he has nothing.

- Most Sincerely

It Seems.

2008-03-18T05:44:00.000-07:00

I've been completely captivated by capability.
I would kill you if you caused me complacency.
Out with the devil, join the masquerade.
Out with the devil, wear the masks of shame.

Dare To Love

2008-01-31T23:25:00.000-08:00

I don't want it to seem like I've lost faith or interest in God. Though, I will admit I have been apathetic, which seems to plague me from time to time. This does not make me happy, in fact, thankfully it has begun to scare the hell out of me. Not because I fear death and an eternity in hell, but because I am separated from the love of my life. I cannot love to my full capability without him, I cannot become humble, I cannot become creative, and I cannot see the world the way he meant for me/us to see it.

Without being near to my father, I am nothing. Merely walking matter. I become more science than soul, I become more restless than whole. I never claimed to be Jesus, and I'm tired of playing God. Heaven won't rebuke me, thus angels must guide me. Home is where the gates extravagantly welcome, with the souls of men whom have died great deaths for the sake of something greater than themselves. And where our King awaits our arrival just as he swooned over our hearts, by loving he gave existence to love itself. And that, WILL always trump anything that may come against it. Some will fight, to which I challenge in return, dare to love.

That's my Kingdom, that's why I will die divine.

Love Is...

2008-01-15T20:11:00.000-08:00

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

One of the greatest gifts we are given in life, is freedom.
God has given us the freedom to choose, something as essential as whether to believe in him or not. What good would we be if we were pre-programmed to love him? This is why love is so important, because it offers an opportunity to make a decision. If we are not given that opportunity to decide, how would it ever be something that we could come to cherish? Being forced to do something creates obligation, and bitterness, and not a genuine intrest or desire.

The first synonym referenced to the definition of love, is 1. tenderness
Are we being tender with the ones we love? Are we listening to them?
Years ago I read in "The Five Love Languages" about a marriage that was suffering greatly but the couple just did not know what to do. One wanted to fix things, the other seemed to be uninterested; the wife expressed how she had done so much to try to love him, she'd tried a number of things. After over a year of "Therapy" I guess you would call it, they first embraced the idea of the "love languages." They saved their marriage, by simply listening to each other. They were so wrapped up in trying to do things for each other, or maybe their sex life was suffering, but it was as simple as listening to each other.

Listening to someone gives them the ultimate respect, it shows them that you care. It can be one of the greatest ways to show someone that you genuinely are interested in them and what they have to say. Sometimes, it's the little things that can make the biggest difference.

A wise man once told me, "Love is doing what's best for someone, no matter what it means for you or for them." Love is not proud, it does not have it's own agenda. And, it will never be manifested, until freedom is found.

World Wealth. Prayer of St. Augustine.

2008-01-15T12:43:00.000-08:00

Did you know, that it would cost $20 Billion Dollars to feed everyone in the world for a year?

Did you know that Americans spend that in Ice Cream every year? Let's no longer turn a def ear and a blind eye to the people around the world that are suffering. By making simple simple sacrifices, you could enhance the lives of tens, maybe even thousands. Think of what little you could give up, to make the entire world truly, a better place. I believe as Christians we are called to be Christ to all people, it's actually extremely obvious if you've ever read the bible that that is the people we are supposed to be.

Here are some statistics to think about:
- If you make minimum wage in the United States of America, you are still in the top 96th percentile of world wealth. Meaning, though you may be poor, you are indeed considered "rich."
- At present, 3 billion people live on less than $2 per day while 1.3 billion get by on less than $1 per day.
- According to Forbes 20th Annual List of the Richest People published in 2006, there are 793 billionaires in the world!
- "The 11th annual World Wealth Report from Merrill Lynch/Capgemini finds the World’s High Net Worth (HNW) population growing to 9.5 million with their assets rising to $37.2 trillion."

I can't look at these numbers and not feel guilty, because there are BILLIONS of people around the world going hungry, living in conditions we couldn't survive in for 48 hours, while we sit here in America living it up. Don't misinterpret me, I feel extremely blessed to have what I have and to have been born here and have the opportunities that I do; but we can no longer ignore the cries of the people in the world who need us!

As of January 08, 2008 there are 303,202,996 people in the United States alone.
Just think if even a quarter of us gave one dollar, ONE DOLLAR! What a difference that could make. I pray that mercy would be shown upon those who never come to give, due to pride and greed. Because they will be facing something that I never want to imagine, because there WILL be a day whether you want it to come or not, that we will face our maker and he will know our deeds.

My heart is broken.
Less of me, and more of you Father.
When the poor are hungry, homeless or alienated, the Church has come to their aid by providing food, shelter and missionaries to meet the pressing needs. But when the poor have been oppressed, treated unjustly and suffered under the hand of someone more powerful, little was done on their behalf.

Breathe in me O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy; Act in me O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy; Draw my heart O Holy Spirit, that I love but what is holy; Strengthen me O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy; Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy. Amen.

That Guy.

2008-01-15T02:10:00.000-08:00

Sex Sells.

2008-01-13T23:41:00.000-08:00

What do you say we just forget
Cus I'm good with faces but I can't get the names
But an ounce of light on them and it's all the same
I could remember if it weren't for the spaces between
Everyone walking without personality
I hear we are all conscious, but my God who in hell stole the shape
Of the hearts that you made in heaven meant for love, now escaped

The wind carries with it, a light from the stars
Shooting skies falling down placing names with the scars
Hollywood's lookin pretty like the temptress she is
But she lied about love in a scene, I was just a boy then
When lies turned to beauty and eyes turned to shame
You made love out to be some sex and some flames

Proposterous love invaded with pop culture prose
The cons were the public, to this day they don't know
Shoved down like a pill they swallowed love like a fiend
Lust manifested love and made them weak in the knees
When lies turned to beauty and eyes turned to shame
The fake came 'a running turning love into games

Mutiny.

2008-01-13T10:15:00.000-08:00

Words define everything we ever heard
So we keep fighting this war with our words
Elementary ambitions fantasized in our qualms
Lead a mutiny of people to the fall of us all

The Ballad Of Love and Hate

2008-01-10T13:59:00.000-08:00

Love writes a letter and sends it to hate.
“My vacations ending I’m coming home late.”
“The weather was fine and the ocean was great.”
“And I can’t wait to see you again.”

Hate reads the letter and throws it away.
“No one here cares if you go or you stay.”
“I barely even noticed that you were away.”
“I’ll see you or I won’t, whatever.”

Love sings a song as she sails through the sky.
The water looks bluer through her pretty eyes.
And everyone knows it whenever she flies.
And also when she comes down.

Hate keeps his head up and walks through the street.
Every stranger and drifter he greets.
And shakes hands with every loner he meets
with a serious look on his face.

Love arrives safely with suitcase in toe.
Carrying with her the good things we know.
A reason to live and a reason to grow
To trust, to hold, to care

Hate sits alone on the hood of his car
without much regard to the moon or the stars.
Lazily killing the last of a jar
of the strongest stuff you can drink.

Love takes a taxi, a young man drives
As soon he sees her hope fills his eyes.
But tears follow after at the end of the ride.
Cause he might never see her again.

Hate gets home lucky to still be alive.
He screams over the sidewalk and into the drive.
The clock in the kitchen says two fifty five
And the clock in the kitchen is slow.

Love has been waiting patient and kind.
Just wanting a phone call or some kind of sign.
That the one that she cares for who’s out of his mind
Will make it back safe to her arms.

Hate stumbles forward and leans in the door.
Weary head hung down, eyes to the floor
He says, “Love I’m sorry” and she says, “What for?”
“I’m yours and that’s it, whatever”
“I should not have been gone for so long”
“I’m yours and that’s it, forever”
“Your mine and that’s it, forever”

John 3:30

2008-01-07T12:44:00.000-08:00

30He must become greater; I must become less.

I find my desire to learn about the bible, history, and language growing.
My desire to counsel has always been something in the back of my mind, to which I don't know what to do with. I don't want to do something because of it's comfortability, or it's accessibility, but I also don't want to do something simply because it's freedom's or possibilities. It's hard to say, because I analyze most everything. Here's what it comes to, I'd be lying if I said part of the recognition and money that come with being a recognized musician didn't have something to do with why I want to do it. But, in everything wewant to do in life has a drive and a desire behind it. But, my reasonings behind wanting to know language, history, the bible and so forth have very little selfish desire behind them. Again, there is the underlying desire to be respected, to come off as intelligent and as though I know exactly what I'm talking about.

I'm afraid there will never be contentment in anything I or we do until we listen to the voice of God, and do what HE wants for us. If he says, "go, play music, I'll provide, but you will never be famour nor will you be rich." I will follow, and I could say I only hope the riches I gain from that lifestyle would be experiences and freedom, but again if I'm submissive there would be no "but's."

I'm far from a good person, I believe. I think I am the scum of the earth, though I'm reassured by the Revelation of, well, Revelation. That sin is not who we are, in fact, it may not even be our nature. For we are saints, and sin is something that is a foreign act to us, as christians.
I prefer and believe that aspect a great deal more than the latter. It sets the standard high, it gives little room for justification, and it assures me that we are beautiful. We are saints, not sinners.
Sin is an act, not who we are.

Less of me, and more of you.

I've Become An Adjective.

2008-01-06T12:51:00.000-08:00

1. like or characteristic of a cynic; distrusting or disparaging the motives of others.
2. showing contempt for accepted standards of honesty or morality by one's actions, esp. by actions that exploit the scruples of others.
3. bitterly or sneeringly distrustful, contemptuous, or pessimistic.

Jake and I were sitting in my room a couple of nights ago, and I'll preface by saying that it's not often these days that I have much thought-provoking conversation so this was a very refreshing littlerarity. Ok, so we were just talking about things and I expressed to him where I was and my feelings on faith and we delved into a wonderful talk that mostly involved him bringing a lot of things to my attention in a simple conversative way. He read some scripture to me, some from Hebrews, a little from James, some Romans and so on. It was then I realized that we were in worship, we were in fellowship and he communicated to me so eloquently to just, "keep going."

Again, it was not groundbreaking or oversatturated intelligence, it was just simple. We talked about love, and he and I both agreed that when you are in a relationship sometimes you have to do things you don't want to, but you still do 'em. I can't completely say with all bit of truth that I don't want to read my bible, I actually do, so why do I not often than to just read it? And why do I do things that I truly don't want to or even enjoy anymore, rather than doing things that are productive, can help me grow and gain wisdom, and actually have some positive benefits to them?

All this to say, is I have a beautiful life, filled with many wonderful people. I have the utmost respect for my friend Jake, he is a good man who truly wants the best for the people around him and I admire his standards. Jake is a brother, whom I respect and look up to. If it weren't for him and everything he had to say, I may not have so easily decided to just, "keep going."

Hebrews 10 -
26If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

Bitter.

2008-01-04T13:40:00.000-08:00

I am bitter.
Rather, I have become bitter.
The idea of money has embittered me.
Capatalism, Idealism... it all pisses me off.

Right now, I am so utterly annoyed by people who do not have the decency to recognize someone else's need and not take just a little bit of themselves and what they've earned and just GIVE. It has been eye opening, but in the most infuriating of ways. I want to give, my heart is so broken over the idea of what this world could truly be if we all just decided to give a little. I know, I know many people have said the same thing, but after finally getting over being so pissed off I'm confronted by the truth that I have not given the way I should and even want to.
I am wanting to move, so badly, and I believe that's the reasoning behind why I am in fact so very pissed off at my current situation. I don't like oweing money, to anyone, not even my mom. But, I'm making such little money right now and I was sick for so long that I'm so far behind now. I hate money so much, I wish it and the idea didn't exist.

I really wish to go on, but I won't. Because it's useless. I can only hope, and pray, that God would somehow find me out of the billions worth helping when I call for it. I'm not one to ask God the type's of things that seem so selfish, not even, "God please heal me..." or "God I need your help financially..." but, I believe we can ask God anything. I just don't think I'm in a position to where I can speak to my God that way right now.
I'm in a place where deserves my observance, my attention, my love, and my relationship. Then, I'll ask him for some help. But first, I'm going to love him.

Sexual Temptation

2007-12-12T02:44:00.001-08:00

The following advice was given to a brother struggling with sexual sin: "Like most men you will struggle with sexual temptation all your life. But let's be honest, most of our failures are deliberate. When you provide yourself with privacy and opportunity (dating alone, late nights with a computer, hotel rooms, isolation, locked doors, etc.) you will inevitably fail. Our penchant for 'alone-time' is planned failure sexually. Stop putting yourself in situations where you know you could fail because this is only allowing yourself to fail knowing that you will apologize to God later. This is pathetic discipleship. I admitted to myself years ago that I was a sexual wretch. I come by it naturally. So instead of trying to be pure I decided to be wise. My success or failure is seldom dependent on my self-control but on my living in open community where I don't allow myself the privacy to fail. Yes we need to work on self-control but even more effective I have found is confession of sin, communal living, pre-sin accountability (telling brothers where and when I will be in known danger), and orchestrating my environment to minimize privacy. This would include where and when you go on dates, with whom you live, placement of computers, and who knows your schedule. If you can't be a good man you better be a wise man."

Dangerous

2007-12-07T00:52:00.000-08:00

I found the sky, to be as high as I could go
But I'll take my time, I'll make my way slow
See the climb is important, for a dangerous soul
Dangerous should be, a place we can grow

I wrote you a letter, with a story to tell
The Pony Express left its mane on your mail
He galloped so boldly, the dirt rustled through
I apologize for your dirty hands
At least my heart got to you

My claws are dug in deep to this addiction
After all's said and done I've no conviction
The point that I've made is I've sinned for decades
And I certainly hope you'll dismiss
My sins

For the thrill of your journey, may be left in our minds
Though the greatest thrill of all, was we all got their blind
Should we come to abandon all that we believe
The burdens of your hands will speak waves into the sea

For If You Will Give, You Will Get

2007-11-05T21:41:00.000-08:00

Don't give it all away before it's too late.
Before attachment drives you and you can't stay away.
Until you love someone that can love you right back.
Don't fall in love because of something you lack.

You Taught Us How To Live

2007-10-30T23:36:00.000-07:00

He's aching for pain
Every breath he breathes in kills
He'd rather be in heaven
For his body's fallen ill
Heroes even die sometimes
They go right with the wind
I swear his soul flew by me
On the night he met his end

Come, let us be
Children again, let us be free
Just let us run, and let us love
For we are all invisible

Oh dear friend
Where have you gone
I feel as though you have been locked away
And one day will return
We'll meet again
This must be true
Yes everyday that I have lived
Is one more day closer to you

Come, let us be
Children again, let us be free
Just let us run, and let us love
For we are all invisible

Papa did you ever know
That it was you that made me who I am
And it's still hard to let you go
You've got to know
How much you meant
The night you parted ways with me
I stayed and there I wept
You held my hand
And even so
Though you had gone for good
You're soul stood still
It was there we conquered death

Come, let us be
Children again, let us be free
Just let us run, and let us love
For we are all invisible

Life, and Then...

2007-06-12T12:12:00.001-07:00

"That's life.
Always growing. it's continual, a light bulb doesn't come on one day.
It just gets brighter, and then, we go to heaven.
And hopefully our light will burn on here."

Burning Hell Say Love Has Failed

2007-06-10T09:31:00.000-07:00

O why o Why would you be satisfied
When all that's loved it lost, and all hope has died.
O Darling my dear let it burn on and on
Because you can't stop me from singing of love in my songs.
Awkwardly silent you make your way to the door
Oh what a precious sight to see
I don't want to see you crying anymore.
Wipe the mascara from your eyes
from the fake streams of salt and wine.
Flowing down your cheekbone
To breathe life into blades.

I don't want to live like tomorrow's just another day.
My God, what kind of world would it be if we stayed
In the same place forever.
I'll tell you when I stopped breathing all I could think
is "My God!"
He said, "son I just want to be loved, like you do."

Face it friend, you're a better man than me
You're a better man than I could ever hope to be
I swallowed a lump today, the size of my heart
It went down like medicine, it burned like hell from the start
Hell keeps opening up for me to crawl in.
I keep on telling it, and him, I'm just a vagabond friend
Face it.
I am priceless though I may refuse to believe.

I look at you and I see someone better than me
But God also told me that's the same thing you see.